And it’s backed by neuroscience (as reported in Inc. by Jeff Haden) …
Did you know that …
Did you know that …📌 A study published in Cerebral Cortex shows “hearing your first name activates your cortico-subcortical auditory attention network”? Translation: you perk up when the other person says your name whether you’re paying attention or not.
📌 A study published in Brain Research shows “hearing your name activates brain regions responsible for thought patterns and behaviors related to your identity and personality markers.” Translation: you feel more engaged.
📌 A study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience shows “hearing your name sparks brain activity that improves perception, attention and memory.” Translation: you remember more of what’s just been said.
Q: What’s your favorite word?
A: Your name.
Q: How should others use your name?
A: Occasionally. Ever been annoyed when your name gets overused? You feel like you’re being over-sold. Exactly. Don’t do that.
How to practice (even if this habit doesn’t come easily to you)
Use people’s first name as part of a compliment. Their name is on their name tag/badge, or they tell you their name when you are given your menu at a restaurant.
- “Thanks, Dagim, for reserving the conference room for me.”
- “I really appreciate it, Barbara”, to the Lyft driver.
- “The entrée was great, Hugo”, to the wait staff at a busy steak house.
Using the other person’s name can make your conversations more meaningful, memorable, and impactful.
I want to thank my client, Tim Hughes, Founder/CEO of Falcon Realty Advisors, for sending me this Inc. article.
Thank you, Tim!
Dale Carnegie famously taught that “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. As a core principle from How to Win Friends & Influence People, remembering and using a person’s name builds rapport, respect, and connection, making others feel significant.
Key Aspects of the Principle:
Significance: Our names are the “sacred seals” of our identity.
Actionable Tips: To remember names, look and listen, create a mental picture of the person, repeat their name in conversation, and associate it with something familiar.
Respect: Using a name shows you care about the individual rather than just using a generic term.
Context: While important, the goal is authentic connection, not overusing names, which can feel manipulative.
Dale Carnegie emphasized that failing to remember a name sends a message that the person is not important.
This book was first printed in 1936.
Michael, I love this! Dale Carnegie said it best… and it has stood the test of time. Considering how high-tech our lives have become, using people’s name, AND making the effort to hear/remember/recall the name, is a beautiful antidote for today’s disconnected times.
Thank you for your comments.
Great lessons here, Karen. Taking the time to remember someone’s name communicates to that person that they are important to you.
Thanks Val. You are so right. Remembering (hard to do and it takes effort) and using the other person’s name does show respect. It’s these little things that make the difference.