Last week one of my mastery clients asked, “Karen, how do you give crummy news? My customer called me wondering why I could not honor a past agreement and the conversation turned south pretty quickly. And, this guy called me at 9pm with his young kids screaming in the background!”

We worked through these 10 tips, titled “Switch Shoes”. 

He said, “I see your next blog happening right here!”

We both agreed that this list is helpful for both professional AND personal settings. As life goes, we met on Valentine’s Day… The Day Of Love yada… and we laughed that, “This list is a better gift than a bunch 🌹 of roses.”

What do you think?

Switch Shoes

Picture this scenario: Before you handle difficult conversations imagine that you are switching shoes with your adversary, whether that’s your colleague, client, partner, parent or kid. Try to see your issues from their point of view.

Your Top Ten List  👠

👠 ➜ Prepare. Strategize what you want & what you’re willing to let go.

👠➜ Chose right setting and timing. Timing is everything. Hint, it’s not 9pm with screaming kids in the background. (My client agreed that he could’ve said that 9pm was not a good time to talk and then schedule a time the next day.) Also, pick a setting that’s conducive. Do you want privacy? Do you want to be in a coffee shop? Do you need support people around?

👠➜ Be direct, honest and timely. IF you are not timely your adversaries will fill in the blanks with exaggerated fears. When Catherine, Princess of Wales announced her illness last year, the Royals went radio silence. The internet went wild filling the void with death rumors.

👠➜ Use empathetic language. Say, “I hear what you’re saying”. Validate the other person’s feelings.

👠➜ Adopt the “AND” stance. Replace the word “BUT” with “AND”. You can say the same things without creating defensive posturing.

👠➜ Avoid the Blame Game.  Pretend everyone has on mittens so that you cannot point fingers.

👠➜ Stay calm and professional. Avoid verbal ping pong.

👠➜ Listen actively. Summarize and paraphrase. “So what you’re saying is…”

👠➜ Offer solutions (if possible) and next steps. Have ideas of where you want this conversation to go.

👠➜ Follow up.