A rabbi, priest, pastor, and an archbishop walk into a bar.
No, wait, they are not at the bar. They are officiating weddings.
No, wait, they are not doing weddings either.
YOU are officiating weddings.
In a recent survey by wedding website The Knot, 67% of couples are getting married by a friend, as compared to 27% in 2009.
💕 You are now running the show. Here’s some advice.
- DO NOT wing it.
- Watch the clock, just like you’d do when running a meeting. Start when the invitation says so. And find out how long they want the ceremony to last.
- Keep the attention on the couple, not yourself. So, no stories about you.
- Don’t forget to tell your wedding guests to sit down, if you’ve had them stand up!
- Ask the couple ahead of time for their vision of the ceremony.
- Find out their origin story and ask permission to share some of that.
- Make sure you have the necessary credentials for legally officiating the wedding. Sometimes you have to register with the state and county.
- Step out of the way after you pronounce the couple married and you’ve told them to kiss. They want that photo, but without you in the frame!
Several years ago our son, Brett, officiated a family wedding. I asked him how he prepared.
He shared, “I got Emily and Adam’s guidance and feedback on what rituals they wanted to include. I interviewed both of them separately and a few other people, like their siblings, and got multiple versions of how they fell in love. Then I took my script, printed it out, placed it into a beautiful journal that became their guest book. I took it seriously and it was a huge honor.”
The Knot estimates that over 2 million couples will get married this year. If you attend one or more of these, offer your silent wishes not just for the couple, but for the officiant too.
💕 Famous wedding couple speculation …
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are expected to celebrate at Madison Square Garden this week. Who will be their officiant? At the time of this blog publication it’s unknown. My guess is Jason Kelce, who is not a rabbi, priest, pastor, or archbishop. They’re probably at the bar.
Speaking of weddings I’ll be in Colorado soon to celebrate our nephew’s wedding, being officiated by a friend, of course!
See you back on my blog several weeks from now. It’s time to travel!
Thanks Brett, for your quote, and thanks also to Tyler Staggs, for sending me the NPR article, “Amateurs now conduct most weddings.”
Inspired by Brett’s approach and your tips. I would love to officiate a wedding someday! As a divorce lawyer, I too often see the other end of relationships. But it has not soured me on love nor shaken my belief in the institution of marriage!
Esther – I love what you said here – that you have not become disillusioned about marriage in spite of being a sought after divorce lawyer. I hope you do get to officiate at a wedding. You’d do a wonderful job. Thanks for your comment.