Did you know that restaurant waiters who compliment the menu choices of diners receive bigger tips?
Did you know that a study found that 50% of employees are willing to assist a colleague who asked for help, while 79% are willing IF the colleague paid them a compliment first?
According to Stephen Martin & Joseph Marks authors of Messengers: Who We Listen To, Who We Don’t, and Why, we are swayed by charisma, trustworthiness and vulnerability. And compliments.
Use our Speak For Yourself® tips on how to compliment without being ingratiating.
Be Specific. While saying “You’ve done a great job here” is OK; saying, “Your strategic email to Camila nailed the deal,” will be much more appreciated.
Be Sincere. If your compliment is just strategic and not based on truth then you’ll wreak of manipulation-itis. The recipient of your praise will not buy it. AND the recipient will be waiting for the real reason, “What do you really want?”
Be Prompt or NOT. It’s great to give praise within a reasonable amount of time of said praised action. But – it’s never too late to recognize another. In fact a client once told me, “Karen – my SVP said I did something that really helped him … ten years ago! I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me and I will never forget what I did and its impact.”
Don’t Add Advice! A dental client asked me, “I told my hygienist, ‘You do a great job cleaning teeth but you’d stay on time if you didn’t talk so much.’ Is that a compliment?” NO!!! First, the praise is too general (see point #1) and by adding the critique you’ve negated the praise. Once you say “but” – all bets are off.
Go Public. I call this a Caterpillar Compliment. It’s a compliment with lots of legs. Your words of praise will be meaningful to your recipient – no matter what. How about escalating that good will by expressing your praise in front of others or even on social media? You’ve elevated your compliment to the next level.
Your leadership skills are really being put to the test these days. Between our pandemic, scorching heat (at least where I live) and economic uncertainties – your teams are stressed.
Please, please, please – remember to compliment others. You will make a difference.
© 2020 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved
Want a customized Speak For Yourself® virtual workshop on how to communicate formally, informally, and electronically? Email Info@SpeakForYourself.com
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Karen Cortell Reisman, MS, Executive Communication Author & Speaker