“How are you?”, asks Dylan, the hospital tech, on auto pilot.
My friend Lucy answers, “Do you really want to know?”.
He stops short and replies, “Tell me how you really are and I’ll tell you what’s going on with me.”
“Fair enough. I don’t feel well and it sucks to be back in treatment getting more chemo. Your turn.” She’s thinking what could be so challenging for this healthy 22-year old guy.
“I work at this hospital full time and I’m going to nursing school full time and I’m drained, tired and burned out.”
Their conversation goes on. Lucy listens and gives some great advice. Dylan listens and sees how he might manage his load without crashing. Lucy’s load is lightened by this exchange.
You’ve just witnessed an honest conversation. What can you learn about handling your conversations as leaders in your various industries?
Sometimes you want to get to this deeper Lucy/Dylan level – but sometimes you don’t… for all kinds of valid reasons. Figure out when to do a deep dive and when to remain in “Gracious Superficial Mode”.
IF you do delve – here are your ground rules:
- Listen more than you talk.
- Be present.
- Ask questions.
- Be nonjudgmental.
- Don’t be wedded to a specific outcome.
- Make observational suggestions if asked.
Authentic conversations take time. Hard to do in your crazy busy world, but well worth the effort.
© 2021 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved
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Karen Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 2 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak with gravitas. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, #AlbertEinstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.
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Good advice. Sometimes we are so wedded to a specific outcome, that we fail to listen more than we talk – and we miss the potential for a deeper dive completely.
Val – you are so right. IF we can hold off on our perceived best outcome we stand to gain more. Thanks for your feedback.