Whether you’re inspiring your national sales team, or you’re the champion for an important nonprofit initiative or you’re trying to persuade your partner to put down the phone – you’ll get more of what you want if you have charisma.
Charisma defined: People exhibiting charisma attract, influence, and inspire others. Charisma is about skills you use that create a positive reaction for your team/audience/patients/clients/prospects.
In Bryan Clark’s recent NYT article, What Makes People Charismatic, and How You Can Be, Too, he shares these three pillars of charisma researched by Olivia Fox Cabane, author of “The Charisma Myth.”
Charisma Pillar #1: Presence – staying in the moment.
Charisma Pillar #2: Power – removing self-doubt and embracing the value you bring to others.
Charisma Pillar #3: Warmth – signaling kindness and acceptance even with people you’ve just met.
Those that achieve this trifecta should be applauded. It’s not easy.
But here are some do’s and don’ts on how to cultivate your charisma:
Don’t do all the talking!
Do be an active listener.
Don’t be a data dumper.
Do speak metaphorically, using anecdotes and analogies.
Don’t act like you’re at a funeral.
Do use positive facial gestures and energetic body language.
Don’t be monotone.
Do use vocal inflection.
Don’t tell the endless, tangent-filled, confusing story.
Do share a good story that’s relevant to your listener.
Don’t get distracted when talking to someone.
Do make your listeners feel like they’re the only one in the room.
Don’t negate others.
Do make others feel better about themselves.
Don’t talk only about yourself.
Do ask about the other with genuine interest.
Don’t avoid opportunities to speak in public.
Do read our blog and learn how to be a great public speaker!
Note: Thanks to my blog reader, @JDCtravels, for sending me this NYT’s article.
Want to use Star Ranch for a strategic retreat? Call us!
Karen Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 3 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak to make more money. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, Albert Einstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.
Karen and her husband own Star Ranch – open for corporate retreats – 100 miles west of Dallas.
“To break the rules, you must first master them,” says the advertisement for an Audemars Piguet watch in the New York Times.
What works for this watch company also works for giving a presentation.
You have to master the rules of giving a great speech first. Then you can break them… sometimes.
Here is your rule book.
Rule: Have a dynamic opener for your speech.
When/how to break this rule: Your first words set the tone of your presentation. This rule is pretty concrete! BUT – here’s how to bend the rule. When you prepare to give a speech, strategize from the inside first by answering these questions. What do you want to say? What are your main points? What’s in it for the audience? Once you’ve put together your message THEN figure out how you will begin. Your first words are crucial but you don’t have to write them first when designing your message.
Rule: Use vivid stories to support your data.
When/how to break this rule: Stories do make your message stick. You will have more energy and better traction when you support your material with compelling (and well crafted) stories. BUT – you have to be aware of time and timing. Sometimes you just don’t have the time to share the story OR your story may not resonate due to current events, concerns in your organization, or issues with your C-Suite. You have to pick, choose, edit and…yes… delete stories when necessary.
Rule: Have a compelling conclusion.
When/how to break this rule: It’s been said that a great ending can save a bad speech. Maybe. As a Speak For Yourself® blog reader this won’t happen to you! You know how to give a great speech. But here is when you can break the rule of having a clincher conclusion. You can end just with your “call to action”. You have to tell us what action steps come as a result of listening to you. That is a non-breakable rule. But, due to timing or your company culture, you may not need or want to add on a compelling final quote/story/visual.
Master the rules first. Then bend or break with discretion.
Karen Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 3 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak with gravitas. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, Albert Einstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.
You’re probably asking, “What’s the Anaphora Effect?”
In honor of Martin Luther King Jr.’s American federal holiday marking his birthday, celebrated yesterday, I want to blog about one of the genius components of his famous “I Have a Dream” speech delivered in 1963 during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.
He uses the Anaphora Effect exquisitely.
Definition of Anaphora: It’s the repetition of words at the start of successive clauses, phrases or sentences.
Why use Anaphora phrases? To create a rhythm, heighten emotion, and add emphasis to make the message easier to remember.
In MLK’s famous speech:
“Now is the time” is repeated three times in the sixth paragraph.
“One hundred years later”, “We can never be satisfied”, “With this faith”, “Let freedom ring”, and “free at last” are also repeated.
Of course, the most widely cited example of anaphora is found in the often quoted phrase “I have a dream”, which is repeated eight times as King paints a picture of an integrated and unified America.
You might have learned in your English writing classes to not repeat words too often in written form. It depends. Using a catchy phrase can enhance your email or Chairman’s Report.
Your Speak For Yourself® challenge: use the Anaphora Effect digitally, informally and in formal presentations to create more buy-in.
What to learn how to cook filet mignon? There’s an app for that. Looking for good places to go mountain biking? Yep. There’s an app for that, too. There are apps for every iphone/ipad user. Here are 3 excellent iphone and ipad apps for public speakers:
Speaker APP 1 – mPrompt: mPrompt is a “teleprompter” app that allows you to use your iphone (or ipad) screen as a teleprompter. You can download and edit the speeches directly to the app and change fonts and colors of words to remind you to emphasize certain points. The speed of text flow is also customizable. It can be used with an LCD projector or on its own! At a low price of just $1.99, this app is perfect for those who want to regulate speech flow and speed.
Speaker APP 2 – Infonet Presenter: Infonet presenter is an all in one presentation displayer that can download many types of files. It is perfect for organizing a presentation, copy and pasting photos and videos, and the slides can be used as a whiteboard. This app is perfect for teachers and presenters trying to educate through this medium (appadvice.com)
Speaker APP 3 – KeyNote: Every Keynote speaker should own this app! It is the single most comprehensive and elegant slide presentation creator in the App store. The app comes with built in start-up slides for slide that feature clear, crisp designs. This app makes flawless charts and is compatible with other similar apps. The sophisticated design and animated transitions will have your audiences enthralled.
Thank you to Drs. Kevin Harrison and Dianna Montoya for inviting me to speak; and for putting together a great group of dental offices. We had a really fun morning learning about how to communicate trust and grow your dental practices.
Dr. Kevin Harrison and Dr. Dianna Montoya with Karen
Dr. Frank Montoya and Dr. Dianna Montoya with Karen