“You have a superpower that you might not know about: the power to make another person glow,” reports Stephanie Harrison, happiness and well-being expert, in a study she conducted.
Her study finds that we underestimate how happy someone feels after recognition.
3 phrases that pack a positive punch
“You are making a difference.”
Don’t think, “That’s cheesy.”
Do ask yourself, “How can I encourage others in micro or macro ways?”
“Did you see how that team leader proudly walked out with a huge smile? You are making a difference.”
“The money you raised at our silent auction will help fund our museum awareness campaign. You are making a difference.”
“You inspire me.”
Ask yourself, “Who has inspired me lately?”
Harrison provides this helpful script:
“You inspire me …”
Then add the reason why: “… in the way you show up for your team…”
Finally, share the impact it has had: “… and it’s made me think about how I can be more collaborative.”
Barbara Franklin’s Art Show
“Barbara, you inspire me. You’ve embraced your passion as an artist and now you’re exhibiting at art shows. It makes me think about how I can continue to sharpen and share my passion for speaking.”
“Tell me more about that.”
Disclaimer: It’s one of my favorite phrases that I’ve blogged about before. Saying these words make you a better listener which makes you a better communicator.
Harrison adds, “Being listened to helps people feel safe, supported and acknowledged. One thing that’s guaranteed to make someone’s day: asking them to tell you more about their interests, feelings and experiences.”
To create space for others to open up Harrison suggests:
Find out what is important to them: “What do you do that’s meaningful to you?
Ask them to elaborate on their experience: “What did it feel like when you heard you’d won the deal?”
Invite them to go deeper: “Tell me more about how you interpreted that feedback.”
Emerging from the pandemic might create socially awkward moments. Use these phrases to ease your anxiety and increase your authentic conversational good will with others.
Harrison shows, “There’s a bonus in store for you: It doesn’t just make the other person glow; it ends up making you glow, too.”
The trailblazer of interviewing, who won 12 Emmy awards over a 5-decade career, teaches us 3 master lessons on how to leverage any conversation to your advantage.
“Barbara Walters’s superpower was fairness”, writes Matt Zoller Seitz (critic & writer for Vulture and New York). He continues, “Her subjects trusted her to give them as fair a shake as she could, even if she disapproved of what they did, said, or stood for.”
She exemplified an open mind and the ability to listen to the nuance of any situation.
“Barbara Walters, in my estimation, really has the quality of reaching through to the person,” Mike Wallace said. “She will put the person sufficiently at ease and it’s a remarkable gift.”
Looking at her interviews from every U.S. president and first lady from the Nixons to the Obamas to a wide range of celebrities and sports figures she creates rapport through her content and delivery.
They said yes to her when they wouldn’t say yes to anyone else because they liked the atmosphere Walters created onscreen.
Trust requires these three components working together: trust in yourself, trust in the process, and do your homework.
Walters nails this triad. And THEN she goes after the tough questions!
Excerpt from a Walters’ interview, “You’re a New York Times best-selling author, you’re an accomplished and celebrated concert pianist, and a three-time Academy Award–winning actor. Why the porn?’”
Ok – she also plays into the subject’s ego. She usually gave three compliments, and then went in for the kill.
Barbara Walters, who died recently at the age of 93, left a legacy about how to set the stage for a meaningful dialogue.
▪️ Another stunning piece of data from SHRM: Debra Hamilton asserted, in her article “Top Ten Email Blunders that Cost Companies Money,” that miscommunication costs even smaller companies of 100 employees an average of $420,000 per year.
These findings were reported BEFORE the pandemic. Can you imagine what these numbers might be now?
While worldwide surveys confirm the importance of good communication, SHRM shares that most companies are deficient in their communication skills.
Speak For Yourself® take-aways on communication & leadership
The inability to communicate your understanding of your business will leave you unable to leverage your knowledge for the effectiveness of your organization.
Those with strong communication skills will be strategically positioned to have a greater and more visible impact.
All aspects of running an organization, from staffing to training to implementing policies to making more money, require effective communication.
“Effective communication” means appearing approachable and conversational while you present info logically – with good “Velcro” – using open body language, and channeling your nervous energy into positive energy.
How can poor communication cost you?
You could land your company in court (worst case scenario!).
You could make your company unable to recruit key talent.
You WILL cost the company money.
What can you do?
▪️ Increase your value by improving communication skills across your company.
I’m 8-years old practicing the piano in our living room, in this non-outfit, and my Mom snapped the photo.
You’ll never see this pic – I’m chubby… and, well, not too much is left to your imagination.
We’ve laughed about that photo (OK – it’s pretty cute) and it resides in a pre-digital-age photo album.
“You’ve never asked me why I’d be practicing the piano wearing just a shower cap,” I say to my sister, Nina, the other day.
“Here’s the context,” I continue. “I was preparing to take a bath. It takes a good five minutes for the water to fill the tub. Rather than watch water coming out of a faucet I realized I could make better use of my time.”
“Nina, I’ve been multi-tasking my whole life!”
Have you ever wondered how you manifest your strengths?
Candice Fitzpatrick, Founder & CEO, and Gary Rifkin, Chief Learning Officer of Core Clarity run a thriving business using the CliftonStrengths Assessment to help companies build teams that work towards its full potential.
I have participated in one of their excellent workshops and their assessment tool uncovered my top five strengths.
Guess what my very top strength is? MAXIMIZER! What a surprise. 🙄.
How is this relevant to you?
You are busy leaders communicating in a crazy world.
You can take this core strength test as well… or you can think back to fun or pivotal moments in your life that exemplify how you solve issues in your business, create momentum around your vision/goals, or work towards your next big success.
What are your top strengths and how are you using them in a positive way? And how might they be getting in your way?
Candace and Gary, and their Core Clarity team, are all about celebrating, understanding and using your strengths to move forward.
And that’s what I’m contemplating now … I have maximized my time and resources, as Founder of Speak For Yourself®, and in my fabulous personal world as well… and life is good.
But, sometimes (OK, most of the time) I squeeze too much into each day. Even though I’m having a blast personally and professionally, it can be draining.
I’m still grabbing those “extra” five minutes. But at least I’m aware. Stay tuned.
Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For Yourself®, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate & sell. She lives in Dallas, Texas and promises not to practice the piano, just wearing a shower cap, going forward.
Why do you stand in line to spend more money to buy a product you already own?
Double line at Apple Store
Over the weekend my husband and I walked around NorthPark Mall in Dallas and witnessed this long line, really two lines (!), of Apple customers waiting, ONE BY ONE, to enter the store.
Not every store in this mall has lines forming out the door.
The secrets of Apple’s magnetic spell
Selling Rule #1: Communicate Value
You buy products that excel in the marketplace. You buy what works – professionally and personally (preferably both), what’s dependable, and what makes your life easier. And you’ll keep buying what continues to propel these attributes.
Selling Rule #2: Communicate Customer Service
You provide excellent after care for your products/services. “Apple Care” costs extra (another genius upsell!) and it’s worth it. Why? Because it works, it’s dependable and it makes your life easier.
Selling Rule #3: Communicate Loyalty
See Selling Rules #1 and #2! IF you provide value and excellent customer service you will achieve Customer Loyalty.
My clients are successful because they have achieved loyalty in their various industries.
How can you cash in on this type of momentum?
Know your Value Proposition. Keep it simple and memorable. Share it widely. Ex: Walmart – ‘Save Money. Live Better’. You see this on their trucks, on the front of their stores, and on their shopping sacks.
Take care of your customers… and they’ll take care of you.
Appreciate your buyers. Let them know how much you value their loyalty.
To sell well you must communicate well.
Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For Yourself®, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate. She lives in Dallas, Texas and … full disclosure: Karen is typing this blog on a MacBook Air, while multi-tasking on her Apple iPhone mini 13, and looking forward to a book she’s reading on her Apple iPad.