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Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

“Your ideas worked!”, an excited dentist client shared with me yesterday in an impromptu call.

I replied, “Fantastic. Tell me what happened.”

He said, “Originally I was planning to approach the new dentist in the practice that refers to me and say, ‘I see you’re now sending this specialty work I do here to another doctor. Maybe I should move my dental tools out of that operatory I use here.”

“That’s code for”, he said to me, “We’re done here.”

I asked, “Exactly what did you do and say to create a better outcome?”

“First, I changed my attitude. Second, I complimented him. Third, I asked questions. By going that route I now have a solid working relationship with this new dentist. I’m thrilled!”

Unpacking these 3 communication negotiation steps to get what you want

Eradicate your assumptive state of mind. Long time blog readers and clients know my Least Favorite Communication Word. Drumroll: ASSUME. Do not assume the worst or the best. Do not assume your listener understands your point of view, gets your implied messaging, or even receives your emails (technology is wonderful until it isn’t).

Compliment with authenticity. Praise specifically and sincerely. Is this manipulative? Yes, ONLY if you’re lying! Stick with true observations and you will empower the recipient and begin your dialog on a positive note. Ex: “Dr. Muckhajar, you’ve realized your goals with this new office. Congrats on taking risks to make this happen.”

Ask questions. Think in advance of what you want to find out. Then listen actively. Don’t interrupt. You’ll gain more intel you might use to negotiate for what you want. You’ve read this before in this blog, “Information talks and wisdom listens”.

My client ended our chat saying, “Compliments and questions, what a powerful combo!”

Your strategy to get what you want: Assume nothing, praise often and ask questions.

3 pervasive & annoying speech habits

3 pervasive & annoying speech habits

You are about to hire your new VP of Sales. Or you are negotiating with the owner of a family-owned business for the rights to franchise. Or you are meeting with your CIO about a possible security breach.

And then the potential VP, the owner, and the CIO use one or all three of these highly annoying speech habits. Outcome: you don’t want to work with any of them.

In a recent conversation with Dr. Alice Silbergleit, the Director of the Speech-Language Sciences and Disorders Department of Neurology at the Henry Ford Health System in Michigan, I asked, “What are your top three bad speech habits?”

“That’s easy,” Dr. Silbergleit replied. “These three bad habits are rampant and they are killers. The first one is: DOING SOMETHING CALLED ‘UPSPEAK’. Second place goes to ‘GLOTTAL FRY’. And the third bad habit is ending sentences with ‘RIGHT?’ All three of these tie for first place!”

  1. UPSPEAK: This phenomenon refers to making all sentences end as if they were questions. Hence, your pitch goes up at the conclusion of the sentence even if you are NOT asking a question. I tell my clients to “land the plane” at the end of each sentence, even if you are asking a question. Lower your pitch. Don’t raise pitch.
  2. GLOTTAL (VOCAL) FRY: The glottal fry register is the lowest vocal register and produces a creaky lower voice. Females, to potentially sound more credible, use this croaking sound more than males. Yet, as Dr. Silbergleit explained, this voice pattern undermines the effectiveness of their communication.
  3. “RIGHT?” It was great seeing you too – RIGHT???  “Right?” is the third annoying speaking habit! Ending every sentence with the word “right” detracts from your overall presence. I concur with Dr. Silbergleit and will add two more words/phrases that become annoying: “Does that make sense?” and “Do you see what I mean?”

Just because these bad habits are rampant does not make them acceptable, right? Listen to yourself and see if you are doing Upspeak or Glottal Fry. Does that make sense?

Super Bowl LVII Best Commercial & Why This Matters

Super Bowl LVII Best Commercial & Why This Matters

We are back with our annual selection of the best Super Bowl Commercial.

For starters, the Roman numerals for this year’s Super Bowl are LVII. Remove the “L” and you’re left with “VII” that = 7. And THAT is what a 30-second commercial costs these days: 7 million bucks (before adding in talent and production dollars)!

Speak For Yourself® picks our favorite commercial each year. Why? To learn best ways to get YOUR message across without paying $VII,000,000.

Drum Roll…. This year Breaking Good PopCorners commercial wins.

Use this list of strategies for your next board presentation, zoom meeting or project review all modeled in this commercial.

  • Self-deprecating humor. Laugh at yourself – it makes you more approachable. We will then want to listen to you. Our beloved Breaking Bad characters, Walter, Jesse and Tuco make fun of themselves and the original show throughout this ad.
  • Good story arc. Many of the ads tried too hard and became disjointed. You could not figure out what they were selling till the last second. Our Breaking Good ad reveals the product up front and the PopCorners take center stage.
  • Clear CTA. Eat PopCorners. In other commercials you had to really search for the product relevance & Call to Action.
  • Logical support material. Rather than have gratuitous celebrity placement our commercial gives us a great throwback to the Breaking Bad main characters and their van… which moves this story forward.
  • Strong finish. And they’re air popped, not fried. Now in seven flavors.

Real takeaways for you – find the humor, move your story forward with logic, add good support material that makes sense and create a clear message/solution.  Finally, don’t get stuck in a van in the desert near Albuquerque.

#communication   #BestSuperBowlLVIICommercial   #SuperBowlLVII     #SpeakForYourself    #KarenCortellReisman

Public Speaking Craziness – Handling Critical Fumbles

Public Speaking Craziness – Handling Critical Fumbles

Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field in the first quarter of the Buffalo/Cincinnati “Monday Night Football” game. He suffered cardiac arrest and he is now (at time of posting) in critical condition.

Players knelt, cried and prayed. Fans stood up quietly and prayed. Sports commentators showed shock and emotion.

What struck my husband, Jimmy, and me as we watched this terrifying situation unfold:

  • Fact 1: This matchup is considered the biggest regular-season game in the 22-year history of Paycor Stadium.
  • Fumble Fact 1: Priorities can change in an instant.
  • Fact 2: Practice, preparation and performance create positive outcomes. These teams were ready to play.
  • Fumble Fact 2: Real-time trumps real-plans.
  • Fact 3: Two teams play a game and one team wins.
  • Fumble Fact 3: Rules change depending on situational context.

How this traumatic situation relates to you

As speakers and leaders you experience critical fumbles too.

Here are some crisis management guidelines when let’s say … a pandemic strikes, a tornado destroys your building, or an attendee at your meeting faints:

  1. Communicate with your team. All of a sudden the Bills and Bengals were no longer rivals. The coaches conferred. The players from both sides united.
  2. Listen. Get the facts as they unfold.
  3. Follow your mission/value statement. Take the action steps that you’ve already defined for your business.
  4. Have perspective and weigh the options. “Monday Night Football” postponed the game. Damar Hamlin’s health crisis became more important.

In business and life you play the game and you give the presentation you’ve prepared for.

And when those fumbles happen, you stop, prioritize, find perspective, communicate, listen and go in a different direction.

#Communication  #KarenCortellReisman  #SpeakForYourself   #CommunicationFumbles

Photo Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_andreadams1974′>andreadams1974</a>

The trick to sounding conversational at the lectern

The trick to sounding conversational at the lectern

Did you learn in grade school that when you give a presentation you must “act” a certain way?

Going full Shakespeare

Here’s what we see with our Speak For Yourself® clients: When you stand up to deliver your message you transform! The real you goes missing and you go full Shakespeare. Or, conversely, you become muted.

Where did “you” go?

The best mental exercise to sound like yourself at the lectern & reduce performance anxiety

Three steps:

  1. Think about a friend that you meet with to just hang out and talk.
  2. What’s the location? Where are you when you have these chats?
  3. What are you drinking? (Doesn’t have to be alcoholic.)

Some recent client responses:

  • Person: His brother. Watering hole: A campsite at their 700 acre family ranch. Drink: Blanton’s Bourbon
  • His mother. Back porch by the pool. Iced tea with lime and mint.
  • Her husband. Their Crested Butte house on the deck – drinking chilled dry Grey Goose martini.

When you are giving a speech imagine you’re talking to your buddy, in your favorite hang-out location, sipping on your drink of choice.

THAT’S the voice and tone you want to project at your board meeting, panel, or quarterly townhall.

Fill in these blanks and add to our blog comments. Picture that set up at your next event. You will sound conversational and like you.

Person: _____________   Watering hole: _______________  Drink:  _______________

 So, tonight when I’m being interviewed as a “Local Legend” of National Speakers Association – N. TX Chapter I’m going to imagine I’m with my husband,  sitting on the porch of our Star Ranch, sipping Glenlivet neat.

PS: check out our new website!  www.speakforyourself.com

#Communication   #SpeakForYourself   #KarenCortellReisman   #SoundCoversational

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