Whether you’re inspiring your national sales team, or you’re the champion for an important nonprofit initiative or you’re trying to persuade your partner to put down the phone – you’ll get more of what you want if you have charisma.
Charisma defined: People exhibiting charisma attract, influence, and inspire others. Charisma is about skills you use that create a positive reaction for your team/audience/patients/clients/prospects.
In Bryan Clark’s recent NYT article, What Makes People Charismatic, and How You Can Be, Too, he shares these three pillars of charisma researched by Olivia Fox Cabane, author of “The Charisma Myth.”
- Charisma Pillar #1: Presence – staying in the moment.
- Charisma Pillar #2: Power – removing self-doubt and embracing the value you bring to others.
- Charisma Pillar #3: Warmth – signaling kindness and acceptance even with people you’ve just met.
Those that achieve this trifecta should be applauded. It’s not easy.
But here are some do’s and don’ts on how to cultivate your charisma:
- Don’t do all the talking!
- Do be an active listener.
- Don’t be a data dumper.
- Do speak metaphorically, using anecdotes and analogies.
- Don’t act like you’re at a funeral.
- Do use positive facial gestures and energetic body language.
- Don’t be monotone.
- Do use vocal inflection.
- Don’t tell the endless, tangent-filled, confusing story.
- Do share a good story that’s relevant to your listener.
- Don’t get distracted when talking to someone.
- Do make your listeners feel like they’re the only one in the room.
- Don’t negate others.
- Do make others feel better about themselves.
- Don’t talk only about yourself.
- Do ask about the other with genuine interest.
- Don’t avoid opportunities to speak in public.
- Do read our blog and learn how to be a great public speaker!
Note: Thanks to my blog reader, @JDCtravels, for sending me this NYT’s article.
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Karen Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 3 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak to make more money. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, Albert Einstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.
Karen and her husband own Star Ranch – open for corporate retreats – 100 miles west of Dallas.
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Karen Cortell Reisman, MS, Executive Communication Author & Speaker