The art of compelling conversations

The One-bite Onion Ring

My husband, Jim, asks our dinner host, “Herb, how did you get into your business?”, while our onion ring appetizer gets dropped off at our table.

Herb takes a bite of one big onion ring and begins his business origin story.

Herb goes back to his childhood days… talking with detours, tangents and sidebars.

As he talks, he gestures with this onion ring in his left hand – one bite in.

I’m mesmerized… but NOT with his monologue. Will the onion fall out of its sheath? Will this onion ring fly out of his hand? Can we start eating our main course – which arrives somewhere in between Herb’s second and third job?

While Herb has an interesting fun story to tell – he fails at the art of compelling conversation.

The Cold Onion Rings

1. Conversations are dialogues, not monologues. As leaders you might feel justified in hogging the floor at your company happy hours, networking events, or even for those few minutes before your meetings.
2. You find out nothing about your dinner mates if you’re doing all the talking.
3. This onion ring appetizer gets cold. (Maybe a heart-healthy blessing – ok… delete the word “maybe”.)

Conversation Killers

• Don’t pontificate.
• Try not to be repetitive.
• Stay out of the weeds. We don’t care whether it was Wednesday or Thursday when you got that email.

Compelling Conversation Guidelines

• Be relatable. How can your info be useful to others?
• Be timely. Is your topic relevant?
• Be meaningful. Does anyone care about what you’re saying?
• Be brief. Can you share your good stuff without getting sidetracked?
• Listen. Can you stop talking and ask questions?

Onion Ring Manifesto

Herb* isn’t the only example of this monologue fiasco. Jim asks a great question. Herb, and everyone who receives an open-ended question, must keep the answer short and keep the ping pong ball in motion.

*False name, true tale, he finally ate that onion ring.

Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For Yourself®, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate & sell. She lives in Dallas, TX and tries not to eat onion rings anyway.

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© 2022 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved