A rabbi, priest, pastor, and an archbishop walk into a bar.
No, wait, they are not at the bar. They are officiating weddings.
No, wait, they are not doing weddings either.
YOU are officiating weddings.
In a recent survey by wedding website The Knot, 67% of couples are getting married by a friend, as compared to 27% in 2009.
đ You are now running the show. Hereâs some advice.
DO NOT wing it.
Watch the clock, just like youâd do when running a meeting. Start when the invitation says so. And find out how long they want the ceremony to last.
Keep the attention on the couple, not yourself. So, no stories about you.
Donât forget to tell your wedding guests to sit down, if youâve had them stand up!
Ask the couple ahead of time for their vision of the ceremony.
Find out their origin story and ask permission to share some of that.
Make sure you have the necessary credentials for legally officiating the wedding. Sometimes you have to register with the state and county.
Step out of the way after you pronounce the couple married and youâve told them to kiss. They want that photo, but without you in the frame!
Brett Reisman officiating the wedding of Emily and Adam.
Several years ago our son, Brett, officiated a family wedding. I asked him how he prepared.
He shared, âI got Emily and Adamâs guidance and feedback on what rituals they wanted to include. I interviewed both of them separately and a few other people, like their siblings, and got multiple versions of how they fell in love. Then I took my script, printed it out, placed it into a beautiful journal that became their guest book. I took it seriously and it was a huge honor.â
The Knot estimates that over 2 million couples will get married this year. If you attend one or more of these, offer your silent wishes not just for the couple, but for the officiant too.
đ Famous wedding couple speculation …
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are expected to celebrate at Madison Square Garden this week. Who will be their officiant? At the time of this blog publication itâs unknown. My guess is Jason Kelce, who is not a rabbi, priest, pastor, or archbishop. They’re probably at the bar.
Speaking of weddings Iâll be in Colorado soon to celebrate our nephewâs wedding, being officiated by a friend, of course!
See you back on my blog several weeks from now. Itâs time to travel!
Now I want to share good wedding toast examples and delivery options.
Two best ways to deliver your toast
You can read your speech using paper or your phone/tablet. This approach works well and you wonât have any worries about forgetting your comments or what comes next. My husband, Jim, used this method.
You can share your message by speaking extemporaneously. Youâve written down your remarks and youâve practiced out loud in advance, and you give your toast without notes. I used this approach.
Wedding Toast Examples
Karenâs Toast to Courtney + Kevin
About 2 months ago Courtney, Kevin and I sat right over there, at this beautiful Hickory Street Annex wedding venue, going over wedding details with Michelle â who manages this venue. She asked, âDo you have a rough idea of the number of people attending?â Courtney replied, âYes, almost everyone has already sent in their reply cards.â Michelle, wide eyed, responded, âYOU HAVE GOOD GUESTS.â
I laughed and commented back, âI love what you just said. We do have good guests.â
Jimmy and I stand here on this very special evening â looking at YOU, âour good guestsâ. May I say how blessed we are to share this moment with you.
You are family that are also our friends. Which makes us incredibly lucky.
You are friends that feel like family. Which makes us incredibly fortunate.
And we welcome our new family â Nancy & Rick, Mark & Jacque, the Hainesâ wedding guests & C + Kâs friends.
Jimmy and I thank all of you for sharing in our immense joy.
Please lift your glass for two toasts!
First – Please toast each other because it takes a village! AND
Second â Please toast our beautiful and happy daughter & son-in-law: Courtney and Kevin. May you have a happy and healthy life together. LâChaim, to life!
Jimâs Toast to the bridal couple
Karen and I want to thank everyone for coming to help us celebrate Courtney and Kevinâs wedding.
It seems like only yesterday that my little âSweetpeaâ, as I call Courtney, was just a happy kid crawling around like a spider on all 4âs.
She has evolved into an independent thinker, accomplished ICU nurse, and a great daughter to us, sister to Brett and friend to many.
When she first described Kevin to us, she did so with a smile in her voice.
We soon met Kevin, when he and Courtney joined us at the Ranch one weekend. He arrived with a bottle of my favorite Gin â and we bonded over our mutual love of Gin AND Courtney!! How brave of him to meet us at the ranch. I have guns.
Kidding aside, Kevinâs easy demeanor, intelligent conversations, and big smile & laugh, won us over immediately.
Together they are like a physics equation. Their sum total greater than their individual parts.
We are delighted to join families with Nancy and Rick Haines â Kevinâs parents & Mark, his brother, and his wife Jacque and their children Elizabeth, Christopher and Meridith.
We look forward to sharing many more special family events in the future.
Please raise your glasses to toast the newlyweds â Courtney and Kevin!!! Lâchaim!! To Life!!
đ„ Call us to work on writing and delivering your wedding toasts! đ„
Happy Thanksgiving to our blog readers in the US. Iâm thankful for your support of Speak For YourselfÂź programs & coaching; and I thank you for sharing in the joy of our daughterâs wedding â€ïž.
Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For YourselfŸ, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate. She lives in Dallas, Texas and loves the idea of finally being a Mother-In-Law!
Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?
You have knocked on our door many times over the years with this exact question, âHow do I do a wedding toast?â You follow this question with, âHelp!â
Right now â lots of postponed weddings are happening and many toasts are being given to joyful brides/grooms.
In fact, our daughter is getting married to a great guy on Saturday⊠so this topic is top of mind!
Components of a good wedding toast
Honor the couple getting married.
Include a nod to the parents and family(s) of the couple.
Share a personal anecdote about the couple using dialogue. Give the story some flavor.
Provide some sage wisdom (optional)*.
Keep it short.
*Sage wisdom â If you do it, be minimal! Is the couple really listening to you at this moment? That said, you will give the couple a copy of your remarks (if you wrote them down) and they can enjoy your insights at a later date.
Delivering your toast
Do you read your remarks ⊠or memorize your comments ⊠or wing it?
You have one more 4th choice â outline your comments and speak extemporaneously (prepared and presented conversationally without notes).
We promote the 4th option and the 1st.
Why it is ok to read your wedding toast/speech: You are emotional. It is your child, or your best friend, or even your parent who is getting married. You are not the hired entertainer. Go ahead and read it. Youâll stay on track. BUT⊠please read âfrom your heartâ. Try to look up on your first and last sentences and provide eye contact in-between as well.
Or go with Option #4 â Youâve written something on paper but youâre giving your toast without notes. For this approach practice out loud ahead of time. Get the flow and order of thoughts clearly in your head so that you talk to your guests with confidence and heartfelt emotion.
Please donât wing it. These speeches can be good, but can fall short of what you really want to say and long on tangents.
My toast to you: âPlease raise your coffee cup or Yeti. Hereâs to you – our great blog readers. Thanks for your support of our work and for sharing in the joy of Courtney and Kevinâs upcoming wedding!â
Next week: Iâll share our wedding toasts. đ„
Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For YourselfÂź, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate. She lives in Dallas, Texas and can’t wait to embrace this future Son-In-Law into her family.
Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?
A rabbi, priest, pastor, and an archbishop walk into a bar.
Speaking of weddings Iâll be in Colorado soon to celebrate our nephewâs wedding, being officiated by a friend, of course!
Happy Thanksgiving to our blog readers in the US. Iâm thankful for your support of Speak For YourselfÂź programs & coaching; and I thank you for sharing in the joy of our daughterâs wedding â€ïž.
