Whether you’re talking to your client, colleague or child, when you lose their attention, you lose the connection.
Then you lose the sale, or the buy-in, or the mutual agreement.
⚠️ You lose.
The Jam Tasting Study
Yes, I know you haven’t been to a jam-tasting lately! While this study used jam (go with it), it’s been replicated with other items like wine and beer.
Premise:
100 people are asked to taste jams.
There are 40 bottles of jam in one area and 6 bottles in another area.
The outcome: More people favor the table with more tasting opportunities.
BUT, which table had more sales?
40 jams to taste: 3% sales.
6 jams to sample: 30% sales!!
Bottom line:
⚠️ A confused listener tunes out.
⚠️ A confused buyer says no.
Confusion creates noise. Confusion causes mental fatigue. Confusion defaults to a “no”.
How does confusion negate your messaging?
⚠️ When you say too many things, your main value gets buried.
⚠️ Listeners refuse to burn extra energy trying to figure out what you’re talking about.
“Stop” said one of my clients. He went on, “This is great. I need to schedule a second day with you. Let’s put it on the books now.” I replied, “Of course.”
What I really wanted to say was, “You never sell just one bra.”
After booking that second day of consulting with my New Orleans client I’ve tried to never sell just one bra again!
What’s with the bra?
My dad sold Bestform® bras and girdles (think Spanx) to stores across Texas, a long time ago. My mom traveled with him at times and became the original sales consultant. She taught the department store sales people how to sell. Her mantra – “You never sell just one bra.”
Recently this letter, unearthed by my sister, Nina, (in one of her serious piles) was from Don Stone, the CEO of Foley’s Dept Store in 1958! He wrote, “Bestform ended up with a 42% increase over the same week last year. It is always amazing how much someone like you can teach any of us.”
My Mom, Anne Cortell, selling Bestform® bras
Anne Cortell Secrets to the multiple sale
✅ Value
Look at what you are selling and be able to define your Value Proposition. It is not what you sell, it is what continual value you bring to your customer that makes the first, second and third sale happen.
Look at Bestform’s great 6-word Value Prop on the pic with my Mom. “No finer fit at any price.” 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
✅ Transaction size
How do you bundle your products/services? Is there a way to make a larger sale by bundling or creating tiers of service? You get a menu at a restaurant… and you probably order more than just one item. Can you do the same with your business model?
Anne Cortell always suggested, “Wear different bras for different style needs.”
✅ Belief
Belief in self
You can’t sell anything, let alone a multiple sale, if you don’t believe in yourself.
Belief in your product/service
Enough said.
Anne Cortell had both covered, with added support. 😉
I’m a “Hackinista” – obsessed with the show “Hacks”.
I’m not the only Hackinista.
Hacks has won 12 Emmys and earned 62 nominations across its five seasons on Max. The show’s historic run includes multiple wins for Outstanding Comedy Series and a four-time streak for Jean Smart as Outstanding Lead Actress.
It follows Deborah Vance (Jean Smart), a stand-up comedian, and her comedy writer Ava Daniels (Hannah Einbinder), as they navigate the evolving dynamics of their professional partnership and personal lives within the contemporary comedy industry.
Smart Lessons on Rock Star Communicating
🎤 Find the humor
🎭 “Hacks” was funny, which is Job 1 for a show about funny people.
✅ For You ➡ How can you take life’s daily absurdities and find the humor? Look for it. Share the funny stuff. Laugh more.
🎤 Embrace intergenerational relationships
🎭 “Hacks” was astute about its millennial vs. boomer culture clash. Deborah initially sees Ava as a sensitive snowflake; Ava sees Deborah as, well, a sellout hack.
🎭 Jean Smart’s portrayal of the ruthlessly ambitious Deborah avoids easy stereotypes, and Hannah Einbinder shines as her tenacious millennial counterpart.
🎭 The two slowly bond as Ava pushes her new boss to take more risks and Deborah, in turn, helps Ava start to work through her personal problems.
✅ For You ➡ No matter what generation you are, learn from those in other age groups. Embrace creative partnerships.
🎤 Stay obsessed with your craft
🎭 To its last moments, “Hacks” is a show about the love of craft. For people like Deborah and Ava, the satisfaction of doing a thing well makes life worth living.
🎭 Both women endure misery, failure, and industry misogyny. Yet, they find their ultimate joy and validation in writing the perfect joke or delivering a knockout show.
✅ For You ➡ You’re already good at what you do. Whatever your craft is, find ways to stay obsessed with it.
🎤 Curtain Call
🎭 The final season elegantly wrapped up the series, with The New York Timesdeclaring the finale a perfect return to the show’s core: the romance of creative partnership and the saving power of laughs.
✅ For You ➡ You gotta laugh.
sources: The New York Times, wikipedia, binge-watching Karen
By chance, I figured out a way to celebrate Mother’s Day with my adult children, Courtney and Brett, that involved quality time together, without screens, phones or brunch.
We came up with a list of special moms, like their Aunt Nina, G-d Mother Robin, Aunt Harriet and maybe even brand new moms.
Each year we started at Trader Joes to buy them roses and then we’d spend our afternoon delivering and visiting with our happy recipients.
As we drove around Dallas I’d sit in the back seat, watching my children laugh and talk together. Nice.
Then we’d go to the cemetery to place rocks in remembrance. I’d share stories about my mom, Anne Cortell and Jimmy’s mom, Elaine Reisman.
Our tradition
I was (and am) so grateful that we all lived in the same city. However, life moved on and so did Brett. He now lives in Denver and I’m really blessed to still do our Rocks and Roses tradition with Courtney.
Mother’s Day – May 10, 2026
I arrived at Courtney’s home ready to make our flower deliveries and place rocks at the cemetery. I’d already had a lovely conversation with Brett earlier in the day while he was driving to Boulder to go hiking. All good.
While standing in her kitchen, Courtney’s husband, Kevin, came in from the garage after running some errands.
Except it wasn’t Kevin.
Instead… Brett walked into the kitchen!
I was in a state of shock. Apparently he did not go hiking in Boulder and in spite of crazy weather in Dallas, his plane arrived on schedule!!! So very special.
Like old times, we got in the car, I sat in the back seat, watched them interact, and we did our Rocks and Roses tradition.
How my story can benefit your business communication
Here are three takeaways ➡
🌹 Culture — Cultivating a positive culture through shared rituals, such as team celebrations or community volunteering can enhance collaboration and create an environment with shared values.
🌹 Communication — My son and daughter’s surprise was rooted in understanding what would make me happy. In the same way, you can strive to communicate with authenticity and empathy. This means actively listening to team members and valuing their perspectives.
🌹 Connection — Our Rocks and Roses Ritual is all about connecting with loved ones. As leaders, your ability to build genuine connections with and among your teams will foster trust and deeper engagement.
Moving forward
Not sure how to top this past Mother’s Day but I look forward to continuing our tradition.
Ever felt like your time was wasted at a meeting? (Even the ones you are facilitating?!)
Ask these 3 questions before your next meeting ➡
Paris, the city of light
1️⃣ Do you need to meet at all?
2️⃣ What do you want to accomplish?
3️⃣ Who needs to do what by when? (The 3 Great “W’s”: Who, What, When)
Know these answers and you’ll lead meetings that engage your teams.
Other considerations
Meetings vary from brainstorming sessions to daily huddles to project planning to monthly board reports and beyond. That said, all effective meetings share these attributes:
Would you spend your hard earned discretionary time and money on a trip to Paris without a plane ticket, hotel reservation or any itinerary?
Even if you’re the spontaneous traveler, having some pre-planned ideas will guarantee more trip enjoyment!
For your trip to Paris, you’ll probably answer the above 3 questions:
I loved the Louvre
1️⃣ Do you need/want to go to Paris?
2️⃣ What do you want to do/accomplish in Paris?
3️⃣ Who (you or a travel agent) will do what (figure out trip details) by when (date of travel)?
Have meetings that work and have fun on your travels.
PS: Thank you to one of my Mastery 1:1 Clients, Marco Campa, for being the idea for this blog when he asked for us to discuss, “How to conduct better meetings”.
photo credits: My vacay snapshots. We had a blast on this well-planned trip!
What do you have in common with every other person, whether that person is a baby, a CEO, or maybe even homeless?
Time. We spend our 24 hours/day in a million different ways, but that’s all we have.
Time is free, but priceless. You can spend it, but you cannot store it. Once you have used it, you can never get it back.
Notice the info regarding timing of each portion of this symphony program
How do you use this commodity as communicators to gain traction?
⏰ At the symphony
Jimmy and I went to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra performance last weekend. Look at this pic of their program agenda. Everything, including the intermission, includes the length of time! Good job DSO!
⏰ At your screen
You scroll Linked In or Medium and you are given the time of how long it will take you to read each post.
You see the length of time it will take to watch a video.
You probably don’t click on anything that will take longer than 2 minutes.
⏰ In a speech
You start a speech by gaining your audience’s attention, with a story, great quote, a question, or an icebreaker exercise. You will also share a few bits of info about your audience and how you understand who they are and what value you’ll bring to them.
You will then share your Statement of Purpose and (you guessed it) the amount of time you’ll be speaking. (That’s what I’ve been coaching you to do!)
Example: “In the next 45 minutes I’ll be talking about how to communicate like duct tape – really get sticky with what you say.”
Later, I’ll call back to that sentence when I talk about how tiny our attention spans have become. I’ll ask, “What’s the purpose of this presentation?” A few will be able to reiterate my Purpose Statement.
I then ask, “How long is my speech?”
100% of the participants respond (always!!), “45 minutes”!
Guess what?
You don’t remember what I want you to remember.
You remember only what YOU want to remember.
And you REALLY want to know how long you’ll have to sit there listening to me!
⏰ For you
Be kind to your listeners – share how long your meeting will be or how long you’ll be speaking.
Be respectful to your listeners – stick to your time limit.
Be wise – understand that time is valuable, finite, and non-renewable.
The Jam Tasting Study
My dad sold Bestform® bras and girdles (think Spanx) to stores across Texas, a long time ago. My mom traveled with him at times and became the original sales consultant. She taught the department store sales people how to sell. Her mantra – “You never sell just one bra.”
I’m a “Hackinista” – obsessed with the show “Hacks”.
By chance, I figured out a way to celebrate Mother’s Day with my adult children, Courtney and Brett, that involved quality time together, without screens, phones or brunch.
⏰ For you
