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Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

“Your ideas worked!”, an excited dentist client shared with me yesterday in an impromptu call.

I replied, “Fantastic. Tell me what happened.”

He said, “Originally I was planning to approach the new dentist in the practice that refers to me and say, ‘I see you’re now sending this specialty work I do here to another doctor. Maybe I should move my dental tools out of that operatory I use here.”

“That’s code for”, he said to me, “We’re done here.”

I asked, “Exactly what did you do and say to create a better outcome?”

“First, I changed my attitude. Second, I complimented him. Third, I asked questions. By going that route I now have a solid working relationship with this new dentist. I’m thrilled!”

Unpacking these 3 communication negotiation steps to get what you want

Eradicate your assumptive state of mind. Long time blog readers and clients know my Least Favorite Communication Word. Drumroll: ASSUME. Do not assume the worst or the best. Do not assume your listener understands your point of view, gets your implied messaging, or even receives your emails (technology is wonderful until it isn’t).

Compliment with authenticity. Praise specifically and sincerely. Is this manipulative? Yes, ONLY if you’re lying! Stick with true observations and you will empower the recipient and begin your dialog on a positive note. Ex: “Dr. Muckhajar, you’ve realized your goals with this new office. Congrats on taking risks to make this happen.”

Ask questions. Think in advance of what you want to find out. Then listen actively. Don’t interrupt. You’ll gain more intel you might use to negotiate for what you want. You’ve read this before in this blog, “Information talks and wisdom listens”.

My client ended our chat saying, “Compliments and questions, what a powerful combo!”

Your strategy to get what you want: Assume nothing, praise often and ask questions.

Diplomacy, Negotiation and S’Mores – Power Talk Strategies for Leaders

Diplomacy, Negotiation and S’Mores – Power Talk Strategies for Leaders

On a recent visit to the Carter Presidential Library I was intrigued with the peace accord U.S. President Jimmy Carter brokered between Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat.

3 surprising tactics learned from these leaders that you can use to navigate win-win outcomes

1️⃣ Plan your context as well as content.

The background for this historic accord was Camp David, a 125-acre secluded retreat for the President of the United States, with a dozen guest cabins. A perfect place for conversations, meetings and space.

🏕 Tactic: For your big deals you might think that your subject matter trumps all. False. While content matters, pick a location for your critical events that provide the setting for success.

2️⃣ Cultivate perspective.

At one frustrating point Sadat packed his bags. Carter came to Sadat’s cabin and began talking about their grandchildren. Sadat unpacked his bags in hopes of shaping a better world for the next generations.

🏕 Tactic: For your power talks think beyond your perspective. Carolyn Hax, a Washington Post columnist writes, “ To have no conception of how other beliefs could be right for someone else is to fail to understand that other people can have an emotional makeup, cultural history and/or set of life experiences that differ from yours.”

3️⃣ Show gravitas.

Carter’s good fortune was that he had Begin and Sadat as negotiating counterparts. They were determined political leaders who possessed strong wills, stamina, courage and vision.

🏕 Tactic: For your good fortune exude gravitas (defined as a sense of authority and presence) just as these three leaders exhibited in 1978.

That summit laid the groundwork for an historic peace treaty.

Think about how you lay the groundwork for your win-win power talks.

#communication   #KarenCortellReisman   #SpeakForYourself  #PowerTalkTips

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

Gain Trust – Could Be a Matter of Life or Death

I never thought I’d write a blog about how building trust could save your life. Save your bottom line, yes. Dying, no.

Not trying to be overdramatic here. Gaining trust saved four hostages’ lives last week after an 11-hour standoff at Beth Israel Synagogue in Colleyville, Texas.

“Jewish security officials said Rabbi Cytron-Walker modeled how to behave in a hostage crisis, gaining the trust of the gunman”, said Michael Masters, the Secure Community Network CEO.

TRUST

Regular SFY Blog Readers know my stance on the importance of gaining trust as a communicator. You have heard me say “trust” is my favorite word when it comes to speaking for yourself. People do business with people that they know, like and TRUST.

From various accounts of this hostage situation, here is a list of ways the Rabbi and the others communicated trust during this event.

Engage. “The Rabbi Cytron-Walker engaged Akram, the gunman, and kept him calm.”

Listen. “Cytron-Walker made clear to Akram that he trusted him.”

Stay calm & present. The Rabbi said, “As part of clergy training we talk about being a calm, non-anxious presence, we do that in hospital rooms, we do that during the most difficult individual moments… I did the best that I could to do that throughout the standoff.”

Use names. Masters, the CEO of the Secure Community Network, remarked, “The offender referenced the Rabbi by name, referenced at least one of the other hostages by name.”

Create rapport. “When Akram arrived at the synagogue the Rabbi made him tea, speaking with him extensively.”

Share credit. Cytron-Walker gave great credit to prior security courses he and his congregation had received as the reason he and the other hostages survived.

Gain trust in your world. It could be a lifesaver.

© 2022 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved

Author: Karen Cortell Reisman is Founder of Speak For Yourself®, a communication consulting firm, and the author of 2 books on how to communicate. She lives in Dallas, Texas and believes that gaining trust with her clients has been the reason for the success of Speak For Yourself®.

Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?

Photo ©:  123RF Stock Photo

Source material: Texas Jewish Post, Jan. 20, 2022

“Conclusion Jumping” is NOT an Olympic Event

“Conclusion Jumping” is NOT an Olympic Event

But we are all gold medalists of this sport.

You give a good speech. One audience member nods off. You leap to, “I’m a bad presenter.”

You email an interested prospect. You get no reply. You leap to, “They’re not buying.”

You lose your sunglasses. You leap to, “The car valet service stole them.”

  • No. You are a good speaker. That audience member had chemo four days earlier.
  • No. Your email pitch resonates but the buyer is overwhelmed.
  • No. You discover two days later that your sunglasses are hiding under the passenger seat.

Welcome to a sport you play without even practicing: “Conclusion Jumping”™ … the art of deciding something without having all the facts.

When you do “Conclusion Jumping”™ you create communication obstacles. With insufficient information you assume (my least favorite word) an unwarranted conclusion that may negate your objectives/goals/message.

Train your brain to:

  • Slow down your reasoning process instead of immediately accepting that your intuition is necessarily true.
  • Collect as much information as possible before forming an initial hypothesis.
  • Look for the nuance. Is there background data that can help explain the current situation?

Ok. Go ahead. Practice for the High Jump. Or the Long Jump. Work on your Gymnastics Vault Jump.

Just don’t Jump to Conclusions.

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Thanks to @DailyWalker for this blog’s inspiration.

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© 2021 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved

Karen Cortell Reisman book on sellingKaren Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 2 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak with gravitas. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, #AlbertEinstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.

Want a customized Speak For Yourself® live or virtual workshop on how to communicate formally, informally, and electronically?

Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?

Email Karen@SpeakForYourself.com

Source: https://effectiviology.com/jumping-to-conclusions/

Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_belchonock’>Olga Yastremska</a>

7 “P”s on Praising

7 “P”s on Praising

“You can make your team and region feel uplifted and motivated by praising more,” I said to one of my clients last week. In our discussion on how to have powerful 1:1s and meetings we brainstormed on these “do’s and don’ts” on praising.

  1. Presence: Be in the moment and be sincere. Don’t say, “You’re doing a great job”. Rather, say, “Your sales numbers for last month hit way above the target. Tell me more.”
  2. Proportionate: Be effusive with care. Hit the mark on what you’re trying to praise. Don’t go overboard or you’ll be discounted.
  3. Power: Go up and down the totem pole of influence. It’s OK to compliment your Board of Directors or the night cleanup crew… and everyone in between.
  4. Public: Praise someone in front of others – it has even more weight. If you compliment your Admin Assistant when other SVPs are standing by, your words provide an even greater positive morale experience.
  5. Punctual… or not: Give compliments in a timely manner. However have you ever gotten this type of feedback, “You did something 10 years ago that really made a difference in my life”? You probably don’t know what the complimentor is talking about but you’re intrigued, you ask, and you are well pleased. Don’t hesitate to share praise even if you’ve exceeded the statute of limitations.
  6. Polite – NO!: Don’t boomerang the praise if you’re the recipient. Do not say, “That’s so sweet… you’re also ….” Do say, “Thank you.” Accept the praise.
  7. Professional & Personal: Praise in all your various worlds – sometimes we forget to praise those that we are closest to. (Reisi – thanks for always reading my blogs & providing feedback!) Compliment others in your business and personal settings.

Praise provides a positive experience that increases morale, motivation and engagement.

Your homework: Use the 7 “P”s of praising and do this today and always.

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Thank you @FinancialAdvisor for this blog’s inspiration.

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© 2021 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved

Karen Cortell Reisman book on sellingKaren Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 2 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak with gravitas. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, #AlbertEinstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.

Want a customized Speak For Yourself® live or virtual workshop on how to communicate formally, informally, and electronically?

Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?

Email Karen@SpeakForYourself.com

Photo Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_iuphotos’>iuphotos</a>

 

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

Three Communication Lessons from Oprah’s interview with Meghan & Harry

Stop. Before you click ‘delete’ while thinking “enough” about the Royal Couple’s drama, read these actionable approaches used by The Venerable Interviewer about how you can conduct your own critical interviews and conversations.

Give it some time. Oprah’s almost 2-hours with Meghan and Harry “really showed the power of the long-format interview, which is almost totally gone from TV nowadays,” THR’s Alex Weprin commented.

Your current paradox – while your attention span has shrunk even more during the pandemic, crucial conversations take time. Tighter segmentation of your schedules could be a detriment to all concerned. Your challenge – prioritizing your schedule to allow for time elasticity around critical issues.

Go three-deep on questions. “Oprah best displayed her interviewing chops by relentlessly circling back to emotional or news making comments like a heat-seeking missile,” WaPo’s Margaret Sullivan wrote.

When you lead/facilitate discussions go three-deep, like Oprah did. Ask your first question, then follow up with another and then one more. Your net gain – deeper and more complex understanding. Example:

  • Q – Dentist asks, “How do you feel about doing this dental implant?”
  • A – “I have some concerns.”
  • Q – “What are your concerns?”
  • A – “The pain involved.”
  • Q – “Have you had some negative prior experiences with pain caused by dentistry?”
  • A – “Yes – vivid childhood memories …”

Follow-up questions make all the difference.

Provide a hook. Winfrey announced at the end of the broadcast that additional clips would air the following day at “CBS This Morning”. There’s more to come!

When you give a presentation give your audience a reason to want to continue to listen to you in the future. When you have crucial conversations, it’s not so much a hook… rather it’s an open door. You never know how you might want to revisit issues down the road. Either way, presentation or conversation, give yourself the option to provide next steps, give direction, create momentum.

Congrats to Oprah. We can all learn from her.

Source: Thanks to @AppellateLitigator for sharing this source material with me –  https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/08/media/harry-meghan-oprah-reliable-sources/index.html

© 2021 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved

© 123RF Stock Photo

Karen Cortell Reisman book on sellingKaren Cortell Reisman, M.S., author of 2 books and President of Speak For Yourself®, works with decision makers on how to speak with gravitas. It’s all in how you speak for yourself. Karen also speaks about her cousin, #AlbertEinstein, in a message about hope, resilience and brassieres.

Want a customized Speak For Yourself® virtual workshop on how to communicate formally, informally, and electronically?

Did you know we offer a free 20-minute communication consultation?

Email Karen@SpeakForYourself.com

 

 

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