Ever felt like your time was wasted at a meeting? (Even the ones you are facilitating?!)
Ask these 3 questions before your next meeting ➡
Paris, the city of light
1️⃣ Do you need to meet at all?
2️⃣ What do you want to accomplish?
3️⃣ Who needs to do what by when? (The 3 Great “W’s”: Who, What, When)
Know these answers and you’ll lead meetings that engage your teams.
Other considerations
Meetings vary from brainstorming sessions to daily huddles to project planning to monthly board reports and beyond. That said, all effective meetings share these attributes:
Would you spend your hard earned discretionary time and money on a trip to Paris without a plane ticket, hotel reservation or any itinerary?
Even if you’re the spontaneous traveler, having some pre-planned ideas will guarantee more trip enjoyment!
For your trip to Paris, you’ll probably answer the above 3 questions:
I loved the Louvre
1️⃣ Do you need/want to go to Paris?
2️⃣ What do you want to do/accomplish in Paris?
3️⃣ Who (you or a travel agent) will do what (figure out trip details) by when (date of travel)?
Have meetings that work and have fun on your travels.
PS: Thank you to one of my Mastery 1:1 Clients, Marco Campa, for being the idea for this blog when he asked for us to discuss, “How to conduct better meetings”.
photo credits: My vacay snapshots. We had a blast on this well-planned trip!
Ever been to a business event, power breakfast or strategy session dominated by one person? How about a dinner party or book club? You know the one!
The best communicators aren’t always the ones who talk the most in these various settings.
Charles Duhigg, Pulitzer Prize–winning investigative journalist, shares three ways we can be “super communicators” and really connect with almost everyone.
How to be a super communicator on a consistent basis
Ask questions
Super communicators ask a lot more questions. In fact, 10 to 20 times more questions.
Some questions invite you in. “Tell me more about your xxx.”
Some are deep questions – getting others to talk about beliefs, experiences. “How do you feel about being on the board of xxx?” Or, “Can you tell me a memory that is really important to you?”
Super communicators ask not just about facts but how you feel about what you are doing – all in hopes of creating reciprocal authenticity.
Be a humble conversationalist
Most super communicators were once crummy communicators. Duhigg’s research points out that these struggling communicators had to become keenly aware of having to listen intently to understand what the other person was saying. This heightened awareness propelled them to become super communicators with these attributes: being honest, authentic, vulnerable and nonjudgmental.
Looping for Understanding (great for conflict management):
Ask a question … a deeper one. (see my first point above)
Repeat back what they said.
Ask if you got it right.
You don’t have to agree or disagree. “I understand where you are coming from. I think I’ve heard what you are trying to say. I have a different point of view…”
7 Super Communicator Goals
To listen for understanding.
To lower the burden of the conversation. You are not trying to get them to agree with you.
To find a connection.
To get others in the group to speak.
To be generally interested in what others are thinking.
To give credit to others when context permits.
To better navigate tough conversations.
Don’t dominate a conversation. Be the super communicator that makes the conversation of interest to all.
Thank you to Judy Dedmon Coyle for sharing this podcast with me.
We are back with our annual selection of the best Super Bowl Commercial.
Speak For Yourself® picks our favorite commercial each year. Why? To learn best ways to get YOUR message across without paying over $LVIII,000,000. (the 30-second spot + talent + production).
Drum Roll….
This year Dunkin Donuts’ ‘The DunKings’ commercial wins.
Use this list of DunKing strategies for your next board presentation, zoom meeting or project review all modeled in this commercial.
1️⃣ Clarity. Many of the ads tried too hard and became disjointed. You could not figure out what they were selling till the last second. Our DunKing ad reveals the product up front. From the first to the last expensive nano-second you see the Dunkin’ logo and/or the company brand colors.
🏈 Note to you: Are you using your logo and brand colors everywhere, from your digital presence to your merchandise?
2️⃣ Self-deprecating humor. Our well-known cast, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Tom Brady, Jack Harlow, Jennifer Lopez, & Fat Joe make fun of themselves throughout this ad. Look at their outfits!
🏈 Note to you: Laugh at yourself – it makes you more approachable. We will then want to listen to you.
3️⃣ Call to Action. Affleck tells Damon as they walk away, “Chill. They’re naming a new drink after us”. A new product is born at Dunkin’ Donuts! In other commercials you had to really search for the product and its relevance.
🏈 Note to you: End your emails, presentations and meetings asking for what you want. Include “next steps.” Move the conversation forward.
4️⃣ BONUS TIdbit – According to CNN, “Part of the deal to get Affleck on board was Dunkin’ making a sizable donation to his nonprofit.”
🏈 Note to you: Have integrity. It will show up even if you don’t advertise it.
Your LVIII-million dollar communication takeaways ➜
Be clear about who you are, what you want, and what you are pitching. Be consistent with your branding. And find the humor.
Think of a 500-piece puzzle. Heck, think of a 50-piece puzzle. Either way you begin by dumping out all of those pieces on a table and finding the four corners. You build from there.
Same principle applies to the way you communicate. Whether you are delivering a company business update, or you’re on a panel about how Wall Street evaluates your organization, or you’re writing an email – you begin by developing your “four corners”.
You need to construct these four “corners” to get heard above the noise ➜
🎤 CORNER #1 — Your Audience: Who are you talking to and what do they need/want to know? How can you meet and exceed their expectations?
🎤 CORNER #2 — Your Statement of Purpose: What’s your overarching theme? If this is a book, what’s the title? If this is an email, what’s your concise subject header?
🎤 CORNER #3 — Your Return on Investment: What’s the ROI for your listeners … at your quarterly town hall, in a zoom meeting, on the golf course, or by email? Will you save them time or money? Will you increase their competitive advantage? Will you make them happier or stop their headaches? Sharing your ROI creates buy in.
🎤 CORNER #4 — Your Call To Action: After listening to you or reading your digital info what do you want them to do, think or feel? What are your “next steps”? Without a “call to action” you have wasted everyone’s time, including yours.
Your next steps: When you communicate formally, informally or electronically, develop your Statement of Purpose, ROI, and Call to Action while knowing exactly who your audience is and what they want.
The trailblazer of interviewing, who won 12 Emmy awards over a 5-decade career, teaches us 3 master lessons on how to leverage any conversation to your advantage.
Fairness
“Barbara Walters’s superpower was fairness”, writes Matt Zoller Seitz (critic & writer for Vulture and New York). He continues, “Her subjects trusted her to give them as fair a shake as she could, even if she disapproved of what they did, said, or stood for.”
She exemplified an open mind and the ability to listen to the nuance of any situation.
Relaxed ambiance
“Barbara Walters, in my estimation, really has the quality of reaching through to the person,” Mike Wallace said. “She will put the person sufficiently at ease and it’s a remarkable gift.”
Looking at her interviews from every U.S. president and first lady from the Nixons to the Obamas to a wide range of celebrities and sports figures she creates rapport through her content and delivery.
They said yes to her when they wouldn’t say yes to anyone else because they liked the atmosphere Walters created onscreen.
Trust
Trust requires these three components working together: trust in yourself, trust in the process, and do your homework.
Walters nails this triad. And THEN she goes after the tough questions!
Excerpt from a Walters’ interview, “You’re a New York Times best-selling author, you’re an accomplished and celebrated concert pianist, and a three-time Academy Award–winning actor. Why the porn?’”
Bonus Strategy:
Ok – she also plays into the subject’s ego. She usually gave three compliments, and then went in for the kill.
Barbara Walters, who died recently at the age of 93, left a legacy about how to set the stage for a meaningful dialogue.
A client bought a new mattress and decided to take part in the mattress company’s focus group about the experience.
“Why did you buy this mattress?”, they asked. Reasonable question! My client answered, “I moved.” What she did not say was that she moved due to a relationship break up.
“How did you feel about the price of the mattress?”, they asked. Reasonable question! My client answered, “It was a fair price.” What she did not say was that she knew someone at the mattress company that extended an employee discount.
You never hear the whole truth.
The unsaid answers that my client did not share would have given more accurate information.
How can you glean more transparent data at exit interviews, strategic meetings, and annual reviews? OR… any day/time of the week?!
Listen between the lines.
The most effective communicators know how to use every tool at their disposal.
Ask questions and go three deep. Explore beyond the first answer given.
Observe nonverbal behavior. Look at gestures, stance, tone of voice.
Have an approachable attitude. Be present and focused on the other.
Smile. Always a good idea (but you don’t need to grin like the village idiot).
Use good eye contact. Be inclusive and look at everyone if there is more than one person involved.
You may still not hear the whole truth; but you’ll net a more transparent interaction.
We are back with our annual selection of the best Super Bowl Commercial.
Think of a 500-piece puzzle. Heck, think of a 50-piece puzzle. Either way you begin by dumping out all of those pieces on a table and finding the four corners. You build from there.
