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Nothing Eclipses Your Executive Presence

Nothing Eclipses Your Executive Presence

Well, maybe on April 8, 2024. 😎

That’s the date of the once-in-a-lifetime total solar eclipse that will darken our skies, especially in my hometown, Dallas, Texas  … we are right in the middle of the path.

But, on every other day ➜

Show your executive presence by using the 7 C’s

Jun Medalla, writing for Business Insider, outlines these seven core tenets of executive presence:

☀️ Composure – Have grace under pressure. Stay calm.

☀️ Connection – Don’t hog the stage. Show others you’re engaged by asking for feedback and having good eye contact to all in the room and leaning towards those that speak.

☀️ Charisma – Share your positive energy by shining the spotlight on others. Listen, ask questions, have good eye contact and an open facial expression (aka smile). Make others feel understood.

☀️ Confidence – My mother-in-law, a professional portrait photographer always said, “Sit dynamically forward!”. Use body language to take control of the room. Sit tall. Stand tall.

☀️ Credibility – Demonstrate integrity, show expertise and good judgment, and be accountable, responsible and dependable.

☀️ Clarity – Prepare for meetings to avoid uncertainty. Use our Speak For Yourself® Blueprint presentation outline to strategize your 2 to 5 main points.

☀️ Conciseness – Less is more. Embrace your inner editor by asking yourself these 3 questions before you speak: “So what?” and  “Who cares?”  and  “Is anyone interested in this besides me?”.

Don’t get eclipsed by poor executive presence. You do not want to be kept in the dark, except from 1:40 to 1:44 CST, in Dallas on 4.8.24.  ☀️⚫️☀️

© 2024 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved 

How to Really Know a Person – Part 2

How to Really Know a Person – Part 2

Last week’s blog shared three ways we sabotage personal and professional relationships by being Diminishers, according to David Brooks, the author of How To Know a Person – The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.

Today I’ll share some constructive steps that make it easier to see other people in all their fullness. Brooks call this an Illuminator’s outlook.

Illuminators: How to really see another person

➜ Receptivity – overcoming insecurities and self-preoccupation & opening yourself up to the experience of another.

Brooks says, “It means you resist the urge to project your own viewpoint; you do not ask, ‘How would I feel if I were in your shoes?’ Instead, you are patiently ready for what the other person is offering.” This art of patience and empathy is a practice to strive for.

➜ Active curiosity – having an explorer’s heart.

Keep asking questions with a genuine interest of wanting to know more about others. Studies show that life is better when you’re curious.

➜ Tenderness – deep emotional concern about another being.

Think Mister Rogers as he interacted with children. Think Ted Lasso as he relates to his players. Believe!

➜ A holistic attitude – trying to see the “all” of a person.

How often do we mis-see people by seeing only a piece of them? Brooks comments, “Some doctors mis-see their patients when they see only their bodies. Some employees mis-see workers when they see only their productivity.” Our goal is to resist every urge to simplify in this way of perceiving others.

Being an Illuminator is an ideal. We can all try our best to illuminate others without imposing cliché character types. Think about how this outlook can elevate your work and personal relationships.

© 2024 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved 

How to Really Know a Person

How to Really Know a Person

David Brooks talks to me while I’m doing my gym workout.

David, a bestselling author, reads his latest book, How To Know a Person – The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, into my ear buds while I’m lifting weights.

He’s making lots of sense on how to best navigate through our personal and professional pursuits.

In this short blog series I’ll share some of Brooks’ findings on qualities that make it hard to see others; and qualities that make it easy to see other people in all their fullness.

Today I’ll focus on the former – what Brooks defines as Diminishers.

Diminishers: How not to see a person

➜  Egotism – Being self-centered.

A Diminisher is all about, “Let me tell you my opinion.” Brooks comments that many people are unable to step outside of their own points of view which shows up as a lack of curiosity about other people.

➜  The Lesser-Minds Problem – Perceiving that you are more complicated, subtle and high-minded than others.

You have access to all of your thoughts/motivations and just a tiny access to other people’s minds shared by what they say out loud.

For example, Brooks writes, when business school students answered why they were going into business the common response was, “I care about doing something worthwhile.” When asked why others were going into business, they replied, “For the money.” Lesser motivations, lesser minds!

➜  Instant Size-up – Making generalizations about groups and cultural trends.  

“The size-up is what you do when you first meet someone: You check out their look, and you immediately start making judgments about them…. Most of us have inborn proclivities that prevent us from perceiving others accurately.”

All in all, Diminishers make it hard to really see others. Next week I’ll share some of Brooks’ set of skills for being an Illuminator, the ability to see others in their fullness. It does not just happen.

© 2024 Karen Cortell Reisman, All rights reserved 

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

Surprising adds that could net greater communication results

“Your ideas worked!”, an excited dentist client shared with me yesterday in an impromptu call.

I replied, “Fantastic. Tell me what happened.”

He said, “Originally I was planning to approach the new dentist in the practice that refers to me and say, ‘I see you’re now sending this specialty work I do here to another doctor. Maybe I should move my dental tools out of that operatory I use here.”

“That’s code for”, he said to me, “We’re done here.”

I asked, “Exactly what did you do and say to create a better outcome?”

“First, I changed my attitude. Second, I complimented him. Third, I asked questions. By going that route I now have a solid working relationship with this new dentist. I’m thrilled!”

Unpacking these 3 communication negotiation steps to get what you want

Eradicate your assumptive state of mind. Long time blog readers and clients know my Least Favorite Communication Word. Drumroll: ASSUME. Do not assume the worst or the best. Do not assume your listener understands your point of view, gets your implied messaging, or even receives your emails (technology is wonderful until it isn’t).

Compliment with authenticity. Praise specifically and sincerely. Is this manipulative? Yes, ONLY if you’re lying! Stick with true observations and you will empower the recipient and begin your dialog on a positive note. Ex: “Dr. Muckhajar, you’ve realized your goals with this new office. Congrats on taking risks to make this happen.”

Ask questions. Think in advance of what you want to find out. Then listen actively. Don’t interrupt. You’ll gain more intel you might use to negotiate for what you want. You’ve read this before in this blog, “Information talks and wisdom listens”.

My client ended our chat saying, “Compliments and questions, what a powerful combo!”

Your strategy to get what you want: Assume nothing, praise often and ask questions.

Diplomacy, Negotiation and S’Mores – Power Talk Strategies for Leaders

Diplomacy, Negotiation and S’Mores – Power Talk Strategies for Leaders

On a recent visit to the Carter Presidential Library I was intrigued with the peace accord U.S. President Jimmy Carter brokered between Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat.

3 surprising tactics learned from these leaders that you can use to navigate win-win outcomes

1️⃣ Plan your context as well as content.

The background for this historic accord was Camp David, a 125-acre secluded retreat for the President of the United States, with a dozen guest cabins. A perfect place for conversations, meetings and space.

🏕 Tactic: For your big deals you might think that your subject matter trumps all. False. While content matters, pick a location for your critical events that provide the setting for success.

2️⃣ Cultivate perspective.

At one frustrating point Sadat packed his bags. Carter came to Sadat’s cabin and began talking about their grandchildren. Sadat unpacked his bags in hopes of shaping a better world for the next generations.

🏕 Tactic: For your power talks think beyond your perspective. Carolyn Hax, a Washington Post columnist writes, “ To have no conception of how other beliefs could be right for someone else is to fail to understand that other people can have an emotional makeup, cultural history and/or set of life experiences that differ from yours.”

3️⃣ Show gravitas.

Carter’s good fortune was that he had Begin and Sadat as negotiating counterparts. They were determined political leaders who possessed strong wills, stamina, courage and vision.

🏕 Tactic: For your good fortune exude gravitas (defined as a sense of authority and presence) just as these three leaders exhibited in 1978.

That summit laid the groundwork for an historic peace treaty.

Think about how you lay the groundwork for your win-win power talks.

#communication   #KarenCortellReisman   #SpeakForYourself  #PowerTalkTips

Family Vacations: Surprising Lessons in Executive Communication

Family Vacations: Surprising Lessons in Executive Communication

Courtney & Kevin, Jim & I, and Brett on a hike

We have just returned from a 2-week family driving trip from Dallas to the foothills of Denver. What could go wrong?

Get ready to navigate winding roads, strengthen family ties, and discover valuable executive communication lessons along the way.

🥂 Lindsey and Brett get engaged 🥂

➜ Relish the good times. Our son, Brett, on a mountain plateau private hike, kneels down on one knee and asks Lindsey to spend their lives together! She says YES!

🚘 Tip: Celebrate achievements, recognize milestones, acknowledge your team for big and small gains. Raise a toast, share laughter, and create an office atmosphere as joyous as our dinner toast for Lindsey and Brett after their special hike.

➜ Listen to your family. Lindsey & Brett arrange to have her parents stay with us… for THREE nights. We’ve never met! Jim and I feel like we’re in a “parent-trap for future in-laws”. Turns out we are compatible! Phew.

🚘 Tip: Tune in to your team’s needs, understand their perspectives, and provide communication strategies that foster connection. Try to build strong bonds.

Lindsey & Brett surrounded by Mom and Dad on both sides!

➜ Embrace Surprises. Just as we are about to eat a delicious meal on our outdoor deck prepared by our daughter and son-in-law, Courtney and Kevin, a sudden hail storm takes over. We dash indoors squeezing around a smaller table.

🚘 Tip: Stay adaptable, navigate challenges, and find alternative routes to success. Detours can lead to business breakthroughs.

➜ Be proactive. Our son likes to dine out and our daughter loves to cook and stay in. We negotiate. I also bring my espresso machine because it’s essential.

🚘 Tip: Embrace your inner road trip expectation map. Chart objectives, anticipate obstacles, and adjust your course. It’s like steering through the twists and turns of effective communication, sans family drama.

➜ Avoid Wrong Turn Syndrome. Can you emulate the GPS voice and calmly say “rerouting” vs yelling when exits fly by? Okay, we miss a few exits. The GPS voice always stays neutral.

🚘 Tip: Ensure your directions align with reality to avoid confusion. Build trust with your team, stay “GPS voice” calm, and don’t leave them wandering in communication wilderness.

So, fasten your seatbelts, cherish family ties, and drive toward a more effective communication style.

#communication   #KarenCortellReisman   #SpeakForYourself   #VacationCommunicationTips

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