The Hebrew translation of “Dayenu” (pronounced die-YAY-nu): “That would be sufficient”.
Boiled down, this word means “ENOUGH”.
“Dayenu” – a way to channel nerves
“Arturo”, I said to the president of a real estate company, “think about the concept of ‘Dayenu’ as a way to get your speaking anxiety to work FOR you vs. against you.”
Moving on I asked him, “Dayenu means ‘enough’. What would make you say, “Yes, that (fill in the blank) would be sufficient for my meeting with my EVPs. That would be enough”?
He said, “That word, ‘Dayenu’, is a very helpful anchor to mentally make me pause and gain a real-life perspective for this upcoming event. I can see myself using this word and concept for other stressful presentations too.”
A beautiful Seder at the home of Laurie & Marvin Blum.
Integrating “Dayenu” into your leadership style
The concept of “Dayenu”, derived from the Passover Jewish Haggadah (the book used to retell the story of the exodus from Egypt), teaches profound lessons about gratitude.
By adopting a ‘Dayenu’ point of view, you can cultivate gratitude for the contributions of team members, acknowledging both small victories and significant achievements.
For yourself, practicing Dayenu encourages reflection on your own roles, whether in meetings, presentations, or one-on-one’s. You, as senior leaders, can communicate with greater clarity and purpose. Keep asking yourself, “What would be sufficient? What is enough?”
Our annual Seder at Nina and Bob’s. So special, as always.
“Dayenu” in my life
Impromptu Seder at the ranch!
These pics are from three Seders Jimmy and I were lucky enough to be a part of this year.
Thank you, Nina & Bob and Laurie & Marvin, for being such gracious hosts. “Dayenu”.
Roger, Magnus and Ella – Jimmy and I were so happy to share a casual Seder with you at our ranch. Thanks for coming all the say from Norway. Again, “Dayenu”!
I try to practice “Dayenu” on a daily basis. It’s a way to stay grateful and to remember what makes my career and my life “enough”. I hope the same for you.
The Tango, the Argentine dance set to dramatic music, involves a dancing couple holding each other closely and making abrupt – yet graceful – movements, turning in one direction and then turning again in reverse.
🍕 Nelda & the Pizza Guy
Nelda died in her late 90’s and I attended her funeral service a few days ago. The large chapel was almost standing room only!
One of the best eulogies at her funeral shared why Nelda was so popular.
Nelda’s family member said, “Nelda was interesting, AND Nelda was interested.”
“Nelda always had something wise or fun to say, AND she always made time to ask about the other.”
“In fact, her plumber would fix the water issues and bring the pizza so they could catch up!”
💃 + 🍕 What does Nelda’s communication expertise have to do with the Tango and you?
To build rapport and gain trust you must be interesting and interested. You won’t gain rich relationships with only one of these talents. You need both.
💃🕺🏻 Your Tango lesson
Be interesting + be interested.
If you combine both of these moves you’ll dance your way to rewarding connections.
I had just graduated from the University of Texas at Austin…
Hook ‘em horns! 🤘🏼
With my proud Bachelor’s Degree in Communication in hand, I found a job at the Dallas Chamber of Commerce in their Marketing & Research Department.
Graduated in December and began my career in January. Not bad!
A month later, in February, I asked my boss, “Stan, when is Spring Break?”
Without changing his serious facial expression he replied, “Karen, what a coincidence. This year Spring Break falls on a weekend.”
“But, Stan,” I responded, not hearing between the lines, “That means Spring Break is on a Saturday and Sunday. It should last a week.”
With a faint gleam in his eyes, he stated (and you’re already there), “Welcome to the real world. There is no Spring Break.”
What does this story about Spring Break have to do with you and how you communicate to get heard above the noise?!
🎤 Underused communication tip #1 – Stay curious.
Even if you are the leader of your organization, continue to ask questions. Ok, maybe I should’ve thought it through before going to Stan with that question, but, still, continue to ask questions.
🎤 Underused communication tip #2 – Find the humor.
Notice I did not say, “Have a sense of humor,” because many of you argue, “I’m just not that funny.” That’s fine. You don’t have to be comedic. But if you find the humor in your daily doings, you’ll laugh more. And people gravitate to those that have more levity.
As for my non-Spring Break Week after graduating from UT Austin …
In March of that year I began five years of employment doing research and giving speeches at the Dallas Independent School District.
Guess what?
I got there in time for Spring Break.
Thank you, Shari Barth @ Optimal Training Solutions, (and Stan), for this blog’s inspiration. We laughed a lot yesterday, over lunch, about my Spring Break Story. Shari asked, “Whatever happened with Stan?” I said, “I stayed in touch with him for the rest of his life. He was a great guy with a dry sense of humor.”
PS: Happy Spring Break Week to you, which is being observed this week at most schools.
“You have a superpower that you might not know about: the power to make another person glow,” reports Stephanie Harrison, happiness and well-being expert, in a study she conducted.
Her study finds that we underestimate how happy someone feels after recognition.
3 phrases that pack a positive punch
🎤 “You are making a difference.”
Don’t think, “That’s cheesy.”
Do ask yourself, “How can I encourage others in micro or macro ways?”
Examples:
“Did you see how that team leader proudly walked out with a huge smile? You are making a difference.”
“The money you raised at our silent auction will help fund our museum awareness campaign. You are making a difference.”
🎤 “You inspire me.”
Barbara Franklin’s art shown at “SEAT OF HONOR – an exhibition about chairs”
Ask yourself, “Who has inspired me lately?”
Harrison provides this helpful script:
Start with:
“You inspire me …”
Then add the reason why: “… in the way you show up for your team…”
Finally, share the impact it has had: “… and it’s made me think about how I can be more collaborative.”
Example:
“Barbara, you inspire me. You’ve embraced your passion as an artist and now you’re exhibiting at art shows. It makes me think about how I can continue to sharpen and share my passion for speaking.”
🎤 “Tell me more.”
Disclaimer: It’s one of my favorite phrases that I’ve blogged about before. Saying these words make you a better listener which makes you a better communicator.
Harrison adds, “Being listened to helps people feel safe, supported and acknowledged. One thing that’s guaranteed to make someone’s day: asking them to tell you more about their interests, feelings and experiences.”
To create space for others to open up Harrison suggests:
Find out what is important to them: “What do you do that’s meaningful to you?
Ask them to elaborate on their experience: “What did it feel like when you heard you’d won the deal?”
Invite them to go deeper: “Tell me more about how you interpreted that feedback.”
Double benefits
Harrison shows, “There’s a bonus in store for you: It doesn’t just make the other person glow; it ends up making you glow, too.” It’s a win-win.
Upcoming plans – Between speaking engagements in Park City, Utah and other travel, I’ll be taking a blog break. See you soon!
You’re sitting with people you like and have known for a chunk of time. Think a book club, a birthday lunch group, or an annual meetup at your professional association convention.
The value of small talk
Small talk serves a real purpose. It’s polite, light and superficial conversation that builds rapport and facilitates social connection.
You begin here. And, maybe that’s all you want. There are times when that’s enough.
But I get itchy if that’s all there is. Especially with close friends or people you’d like to get to know better.
How to turn small talk into meaningful talk.
You ask questions.
❓ The First Runner Up Great Question: “Can you tell us a highlight since the last time we’ve been together?”
I have a group of friends that I only see annually, over a lunch, at a professional convention. The first time we met I now know that the organizer felt concerned that it might not flow well. Not knowing this I asked the group the “highlight” question. We had a blast. Now, every year, this group gets together (for a three-hour lunch!) and shares, one by one, their stories from the year. We love it and it’s become meaningful.
❓ The Winner Question That Goes Deeper: “What have been some turning points in your life?” Warning: while this question will create memorable and meaningful dialogue, you want to do this in a trusting environment.
Recently I asked this question at my book club with longtime friends. You’d think that after 20+ years we knew all of these stories by now. Nope. Full disclosure, the book we were discussing, “I See You’ve Called in Dead” by John Kenney (great book that I’d recommend to you) lends itself to this type of question. Our conversation the other day went from interesting to deep in a heartbeat. My turning points ranged from traumatic (parents dying too soon) to fabulous (buying a ranch – the best adventure I never wanted).
Why meaningful conversations matter
To understand people’s lives it is fascinating to hear about their highlights and turning points / outcomes.
You learn more, you remember more, and you create stronger relationships.
From a professional angle, you’ll do more business with those you know, like and trust. These trusting relationships are the result of more meaningful interactions.
So, thank you to my DSC annual lunch buddies Suzie, Becky, Carolyn, Pat, Karen, and Rebecca for this great tradition.
And, thank you to Robin and Beverly for sharing meaningful turning points in your lives.
Millennials are more likely to use Emojis to convey emotions, but sometimes attach more symbolic meaning to them. ❤️
Gen X is generally more practical in their use of technology and less likely to use Emojis. 👍🏼
Gen Z uses repeated letters in communication, like “hiiiiiiiiiii” to convey enthusiasm. 😂
Millennials & Gen Z tend to avoid ending texts with periods while Baby Boomers apply the rules of formal letter writing and use full sentences. ✍🏻
Gen X sends a moderate volume of text messages and worry less about response times while Gen Z sends an excessive amount and expects immediate responses. Baby Boomers send and receive a lower volume and not as concerned with response time. ⏰
Understanding Others
Review these Emojis that each of these generations uses ➜
Why is this relevant to you?
1️⃣ Texting style isn’t set in stone based on your birth year. You may “code-switch” when you text, just as you might adapt your tone and approach depending on your audience.
2️⃣ Many break grammar and punctuation rules when texting arguing that texting is more like talking than writing.
3️⃣ Because Emojis lack gestures and facial cues they can add meaning to text messages. But symbols can be misunderstood. Age is just one factor. Culture, gender and evolving Emoji means also play a role.
😂 Ok… my CNN Emojis Across Generations Quiz Result … drum roll 🥁🥁🥁
Dayenu
With my proud Bachelor’s Degree in Communication in hand, I found a job at the Dallas Chamber of Commerce in their Marketing & Research Department.
“You have a superpower that you might not know about: the power to make another person glow,” reports Stephanie Harrison, 
It’s a win-win.
You’re sitting with people you like and have known for a chunk of time. Think a book club, a birthday lunch group, or an annual meetup at your professional association convention.
