“Ask me anything you want to ask me, and I’ll tell you what I want you to hear!” Dolly Parton
Dolly said it best, and did it best.
While it sounds like a witty quip, it’s a masterclass in strategic communication.
To get heard above the noise and command the room, incorporate these three strategies during your next presentation or Q&A opportunity ➡
🎤 The Pivot: If a sensitive question catches you off guard, acknowledge the question briefly and pivot back to your core objectives. Know your boundaries and what message(s) you want to present.
Did we ever know anything about Dolly’s personal life or her family?
🎤 The Strategic Smile: Deliver heavy messages with grace. A strategic smile requires a warm facial expression, not an all-out wide grin. Your warmth will defuse room tension and you’ll maintain control over the narrative.
Dolly exuded this strategic smile at all times, no matter what.
🎤 The Headline First: Lead with your primary message. In short, punchy sentences, give the audience your most critical information immediately before diving into supporting data. If you don’t define the takeaway, your audience will invent their own. They will fill in the space.
Ok, you’re not Dolly. But you are the author of your organization’s story.
The next time you face a tough town hall or a high-pressure board meeting, channel your inner Dolly.
Command the room.
Know what you can and cannot say.
Anticipate difficult questions.
Stay authentic.
Thank you to Ann Zimmerman Gallant, former Wall Street Journal journalist, for this blog idea.
Ever felt like your time was wasted at a meeting? (Even the ones you are facilitating?!)
Ask these 3 questions before your next meeting ➡
Paris, the city of light
1️⃣ Do you need to meet at all?
2️⃣ What do you want to accomplish?
3️⃣ Who needs to do what by when? (The 3 Great “W’s”: Who, What, When)
Know these answers and you’ll lead meetings that engage your teams.
Other considerations
Meetings vary from brainstorming sessions to daily huddles to project planning to monthly board reports and beyond. That said, all effective meetings share these attributes:
Would you spend your hard earned discretionary time and money on a trip to Paris without a plane ticket, hotel reservation or any itinerary?
Even if you’re the spontaneous traveler, having some pre-planned ideas will guarantee more trip enjoyment!
For your trip to Paris, you’ll probably answer the above 3 questions:
I loved the Louvre
1️⃣ Do you need/want to go to Paris?
2️⃣ What do you want to do/accomplish in Paris?
3️⃣ Who (you or a travel agent) will do what (figure out trip details) by when (date of travel)?
Have meetings that work and have fun on your travels.
PS: Thank you to one of my Mastery 1:1 Clients, Marco Campa, for being the idea for this blog when he asked for us to discuss, “How to conduct better meetings”.
photo credits: My vacay snapshots. We had a blast on this well-planned trip!
The Hebrew translation of “Dayenu” (pronounced die-YAY-nu): “That would be sufficient”.
Boiled down, this word means “ENOUGH”.
“Dayenu” – a way to channel nerves
“Arturo”, I said to the president of a real estate company, “think about the concept of ‘Dayenu’ as a way to get your speaking anxiety to work FOR you vs. against you.”
Moving on I asked him, “Dayenu means ‘enough’. What would make you say, “Yes, that (fill in the blank) would be sufficient for my meeting with my EVPs. That would be enough”?
He said, “That word, ‘Dayenu’, is a very helpful anchor to mentally make me pause and gain a real-life perspective for this upcoming event. I can see myself using this word and concept for other stressful presentations too.”
A beautiful Seder at the home of Laurie & Marvin Blum.
Integrating “Dayenu” into your leadership style
The concept of “Dayenu”, derived from the Passover Jewish Haggadah (the book used to retell the story of the exodus from Egypt), teaches profound lessons about gratitude.
By adopting a ‘Dayenu’ point of view, you can cultivate gratitude for the contributions of team members, acknowledging both small victories and significant achievements.
For yourself, practicing Dayenu encourages reflection on your own roles, whether in meetings, presentations, or one-on-one’s. You, as senior leaders, can communicate with greater clarity and purpose. Keep asking yourself, “What would be sufficient? What is enough?”
Our annual Seder at Nina and Bob’s. So special, as always.
“Dayenu” in my life
Impromptu Seder at the ranch!
These pics are from three Seders Jimmy and I were lucky enough to be a part of this year.
Thank you, Nina & Bob and Laurie & Marvin, for being such gracious hosts. “Dayenu”.
Roger, Magnus and Ella – Jimmy and I were so happy to share a casual Seder with you at our ranch. Thanks for coming all the say from Norway. Again, “Dayenu”!
I try to practice “Dayenu” on a daily basis. It’s a way to stay grateful and to remember what makes my career and my life “enough”. I hope the same for you.
I had just graduated from the University of Texas at Austin…
Hook ‘em horns! 🤘🏼
With my proud Bachelor’s Degree in Communication in hand, I found a job at the Dallas Chamber of Commerce in their Marketing & Research Department.
Graduated in December and began my career in January. Not bad!
A month later, in February, I asked my boss, “Stan, when is Spring Break?”
Without changing his serious facial expression he replied, “Karen, what a coincidence. This year Spring Break falls on a weekend.”
“But, Stan,” I responded, not hearing between the lines, “That means Spring Break is on a Saturday and Sunday. It should last a week.”
With a faint gleam in his eyes, he stated (and you’re already there), “Welcome to the real world. There is no Spring Break.”
What does this story about Spring Break have to do with you and how you communicate to get heard above the noise?!
🎤 Underused communication tip #1 – Stay curious.
Even if you are the leader of your organization, continue to ask questions. Ok, maybe I should’ve thought it through before going to Stan with that question, but, still, continue to ask questions.
🎤 Underused communication tip #2 – Find the humor.
Notice I did not say, “Have a sense of humor,” because many of you argue, “I’m just not that funny.” That’s fine. You don’t have to be comedic. But if you find the humor in your daily doings, you’ll laugh more. And people gravitate to those that have more levity.
As for my non-Spring Break Week after graduating from UT Austin …
In March of that year I began five years of employment doing research and giving speeches at the Dallas Independent School District.
Guess what?
I got there in time for Spring Break.
Thank you, Shari Barth @ Optimal Training Solutions, (and Stan), for this blog’s inspiration. We laughed a lot yesterday, over lunch, about my Spring Break Story. Shari asked, “Whatever happened with Stan?” I said, “I stayed in touch with him for the rest of his life. He was a great guy with a dry sense of humor.”
PS: Happy Spring Break Week to you, which is being observed this week at most schools.
Last week one of my mastery clients asked, “Karen, how do you give crummy news? My customer called me wondering why I could not honor a past agreement and the conversation turned south pretty quickly. And, this guy called me at 9pm with his young kids screaming in the background!”
We worked through these 10 tips, titled “Switch Shoes”.
He said, “I see your next blog happening right here!”
We both agreed that this list is helpful for both professional AND personal settings. As life goes, we met on Valentine’s Day… The Day Of Love yada… and we laughed that, “This list is a better gift than a bunch 🌹 of roses.”
What do you think?
Switch Shoes
Picture this scenario: Before you handle difficult conversations imagine that you are switching shoes with your adversary, whether that’s your colleague, client, partner, parent or kid. Try to see your issues from their point of view.
Your Top Ten List 👠
👠 ➜ Prepare. Strategize what you want & what you’re willing to let go.
👠➜ Chose right setting and timing. Timing is everything. Hint, it’s not 9pm with screaming kids in the background. (My client agreed that he could’ve said that 9pm was not a good time to talk and then schedule a time the next day.) Also, pick a setting that’s conducive. Do you want privacy? Do you want to be in a coffee shop? Do you need support people around?
👠➜ Be direct, honest and timely. IF you are not timely your adversaries will fill in the blanks with exaggerated fears. When Catherine, Princess of Wales announced her illness last year, the Royals went radio silence. The internet went wild filling the void with death rumors.
👠➜ Use empathetic language. Say, “I hear what you’re saying”. Validate the other person’s feelings.
👠➜ Adopt the “AND” stance. Replace the word “BUT” with “AND”. You can say the same things without creating defensive posturing.
👠➜ Avoid the Blame Game. Pretend everyone has on mittens so that you cannot point fingers.
👠➜ Stay calm and professional. Avoid verbal ping pong.
👠➜ Listen actively. Summarize and paraphrase. “So what you’re saying is…”
👠➜ Offer solutions (if possible) and next steps. Have ideas of where you want this conversation to go.
Effective communication is the lifeblood of your personal and professional relationships. Use these three concepts to access your communication super powers.
🎈 PRAISE
Praise with more intention by acknowledging the strengths of others. Genuine praise creates a positive environment.
➡ Example: Satya Nadella, the CEO of Microsoft, often publicly praises his team’s achievements, which fosters a culture of recognition and high performance. During a pivotal project launch, he once praised the engineering team for their innovative solutions during a challenging deadline. By celebrating their hard work, he boosted team morale and inspired further creativity and collaboration.
❓ ASK
Ask more questions. You’ll invite diverse perspectives and create opportunities for growth. Plus you’ll talk less and learn more!
➡ Example: Consider the approach of Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo. Known for her open-door policy, she actively encouraged employees to share ideas and concerns. In a town hall meeting, she once noticed a team member hesitating to speak up. Rather than moving on, she stopped and asked for more info. This small act demonstrated her commitment to inclusivity that led to valuable feedback.
🦻🏼 LISTEN
Listen, actively.
➡ Example: Howard Schultz, former CEO of Starbucks, was renowned for his ability to listen to employees. During a company-wide meeting, he actively sought input from baristas about improving customer service. He listened to their firsthand experiences, gaining insights that influenced corporate strategy. By prioritizing listening he made employees feel valued and fostered a culture of trust and collaboration.
Be a super communicator by being your own best “PAL”.
P = Praise
A = Ask
L = Listen
Photo: taken by KCR walking around the courtyard behind Snooze and where she gets manicures 🙂
🎤 The Pivot: If a sensitive question catches you off guard, acknowledge the question briefly and pivot back to your core objectives. Know your boundaries and what message(s) you want to present.
🎤 The Pivot: If a sensitive question catches you off guard, acknowledge the question briefly and pivot back to your core objectives. Know your boundaries and what message(s) you want to present.
With my proud Bachelor’s Degree in Communication in hand, I found a job at the Dallas Chamber of Commerce in their Marketing & Research Department.
👠➜ Use empathetic language.
