Whether you’re a football fan, or you never watch sports; whether you love or hate the Dallas Cowboys, whether you like or you can’t stand Jerry Jones – read on to gain three must-have Communication Superpower Moves.
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles – December 10th, 1995
🏈 The Context.
While watching an episode of “America’s Team: The Gambler and his Cowboys”, a 2025 sports documentary series about the Dallas Cowboys during Jerry Jones’ ownership, I said to Jimmy (handsome husband) …
“Stop! That’s THE game!” He asks, “What’s the deal about this Cowboys-Eagles 1995 game?” I replied, “That’s the game that caused Marty’s death.”
🏈 The Stats.
With the game tied at 17-17 and just over two minutes left in the fourth quarter, Dallas Coach Barry Switzer dialed up a run play on Dallas’ own 30-yard line. Emmitt Smith was stopped short, but the Cowboys got a do-over when officials deemed the play started after the two minute warning. Dallas ended up running the exact same play, getting stuffed again.
🏈 The Outcome.
Marty, my friend’s dad, sitting in his lounger at his home in Dallas, could not believe that Switzer ran the exact same unproductive play twice. He was outraged… screamed at the TV… and had a heart attack.
The Cowboys lost this game. Marty lost his life.
Superpower Communication Takeaways from this Crazy Sad True Story
1️⃣ Acknowledge the Elephant in the Room
At the funeral for Marty, Rabbi Z approached the pulpit and paused. He saw the casket, looked at the bereaved family, gazed at the attendees, and began his comments by saying, “I’m sure Marty’s family will be OK with me saying that we certainly do take our Cowboys seriously in Dallas, Texas.”
Rabbi Z acknowledged the circumstances and embraced the reality known by everyone at the funeral. His comment evoked a light chuckle in that room.
For you: Whether you’re leading a summit retreat or presenting to your board or facilitating a zoom strategy session – find out the taboo subjects. Are there elephants in the room? The more you know, the better your outcome.
2️⃣ Maintain Levity
Life can be stressful and sad/bad stuff happens. As leaders, try to find the humor, like Rabbi Z did at this funeral. If you can make your team smile you will diffuse tension, enhance good will and increase your chances that your audience will remember what you say.
3️⃣ Keep Your Eye on the Ball (not to be punny)
“Who won the [expletive] Super Bowl that year? I don’t believe it was Philadelphia,” Coach Switzer said, knowing the Cowboys won all five games after the infamous fourth-and-1, winning in Super Bowl XXX. “I get the last laugh on that one.”
🏈 For you ➜
Use these three super power communication moves in your business and personal lives. I wish Marty could’ve laughed along side Switzer at Super Bowl XXX.
You are not as sexy as your audience’s 104 digital apps flashing business, personal and news updates via their phone / watch / iPad / computer!
Here are 9.5 ways to avoid audience boredom ➜
😴 Know who you are talking to. REALLY have their pulse and customize to meet their specific needs.
😴 Give clear, crisp, usable take-aways. Tangible outcomes = value.
😴 Open with a grab-your-attention technique such as a funny and relevant story, stunning statistic, quippy quote or an audience engagement exercise.
😴 Provide an ROI early on. That’s your Return On Investment for them. Their time is an investment in you. Can your words increase their bottom line, make them less stressed, improve their competitive advantage? If so, and I hope so, don’t keep this a secret.
😴 Get rid of horrible PowerPoint slides! If your slides have tons of data, long paragraphs, bullets that take up the whole visual, complicated graphs…. call me! You’ve just anesthetized your audience.
😴 Add relevant stories, analogies, metaphors, and examples. These tools create word pictures that aid understanding and increase your approachability.
😴 Add humor. Not jokes – just funny stuff that comes from your take on their issues. If you want to poke at anyone – poke at yourself. Self-deprecation, used wisely, enhances your vulnerability in a good way.
😴 Praise your listeners sincerely and specifically. If you are NOT sincere, they will sense this and you appear as manipulative (which would be the case). IF you can say some kind of compliment that’s real – this will endear them to you and empower them to continue manifesting this positive behavior.
😴 End when you say you will end. You can even end five minutes early, but never five minutes late.
😴 9.5 Your last half-tip: Be yourself, on purpose.
Karen introducing Izzy Gesell on the “main stage” at a National Speakers Association Convention in Denver
Picture you’re at your annual professional association convention…
It’s 4:30 pm and you’re overwhelmed… you’ve attended educational sessions all day. Do you have the energy for one more? That was me and that last breakout session was a game changer.
I learned about improv and I met the fabulous facilitator of that program … Izzy Gesell.
Izzy Dear – Karen Dear
Over time Izzy became one of my best friends and business confidants. We made a commitment to each other. For the next 30+ years we talked once a month, for an hour about our speaking/consulting businesses and about life. He was Izzy Dear and I was Karen Dear.
Izzy Dear died last week from medical complications and this blog is dedicated in memory of Izzy and the wisdom he shared across North America and beyond about the power of play and laughter.
One memory stands out ➜ When I began my year as President of the National Speakers Association N. TX Chapter Izzy flew to Dallas to facilitate our Strategic Board of Directors’ Retreat. We played, we laughed and we learned how to be better team players, communicators and leaders. My year as president flowed well and it began with this solid foundation.
Izzy’s 6 Paradoxes of Improv (and life)
You don’t have to do improv or become a stand-up comic to gain from these concepts.
To become spontaneous.…………. practice spontaneity.
To experience freedom.…………….embrace the necessary structure.
To feel in control in a situation.….relinquish the need to be in control.
To exude confidence…………………acknowledge your vulnerability.
To prepare for victory………………..contemplate what you can surrender.
To demonstrate your bravery…….step into your fear.
Thank you, Izzy Dear, for sharing your insights with me and many others.
“Humor, imagination and playfulness are powerful resources, helping us become even more effective both personally and professionally.” Izzy Gesell, CSP – motivational speaker, improv guru and teacher
Time to reveal my Best-Of-List to maximize your “stickability” as a communicator in 2025 ➜
#1 🎤 Communication Habit: Find the humor.
Even during drama-filled times and situations – funny stuff happens. Keep notes on this “you cannot believe what just happened” truths. Use this material in your conversations, stories and presentations.
#2 🎤 Communication Habit: Ask questions.
You will be forced to listen more and you’ll learn more than if you’re doing all the talking.
#2 1/2 🎤 Communication Habit: Use these 3 words more often… “Tell me more”.
After you’ve listened and asked questions, follow up with, “Tell me more.” You’ll gain even more awareness and understanding.
#3 🎤 Communication Habit: Read more.
Fiction or non-fiction – you’ll gain insights and become even more articulate. Even a trashy novel can provide examples of how to use dialogue, plot development, and what makes for a good story.
#4 🎤 Communication Habit: Reflect on your positive communication experiences in ’24.
You do a great job of remembering in exquisite detail when you think you’ve failed at running that meeting, or facilitating the board discussion, or giving a speech to your shareholders. Think back on when you rocked on your platforms. Not only will this make you feel great – but it has a positive rollover effect on your future gigs.
A special nod to my work with GTS, American Heart Association, Region 10 ESC and many individual clients that made 2024 so rewarding!
#5 🎤 Communication Habit: Write more.
Practice writing short, clear and value-driven emails, articles, reports and posts. And how about your email subject headers?? Make them to-the-point as well.
Confession: I began writing this blog series … kicking and screaming. Now I realize it’s been one of my best communication habits. Writing makes you a better communicator. I am forced to observe with purpose… all the time… constantly mining for good info and stories.
BONUS 🎤 Communication Habit: Empower by praising others.
It’s a complicated world, made just a little bit easier if you can find something positive to say to the next person in line at the grocery store or to anyone in your personal and professional arenas. You’ll make their day. So give someone a specific and sincere compliment today.
YOU are the reason this blog exists. Thank you for your support and comments directly on this blog or in my email box. See you in 2025.
1️⃣ Make aggravations your best friend. Stuff happens. Your flight cancels. Your SVP moves to another company. Your cappacinno is all milk and no caffeine. These irritating situations make great copy if you twist them into humorous anecdotes. (see Best Example Ever below)
2️⃣ Be self-deprecating. Share your foibles rather than your accolades. You become approachable and we’ll want to hear more from you.
3️⃣ Mine your own biggest mishaps. Humor = Tragedy + Time. It’s what you once cried about and now can laugh about. One time I stood up to give a speech and my skirt fell down. I cried then. I laugh now… and you laugh with me because I share this story with most audiences.
4️⃣ Look for the funny stuff. (see pic!)
Best Humor Example Ever
Our family was taking my sister, Nina, to the University of Texas in Austin to begin her college experience. My dad, Walter Cortell, wrote this letter after our stay at a nearby hotel.
August, 1970
Become a charioteer at the Chariot Inn in Austin, Texas.
To make your stay more enjoyable the management provides many unique features. Amongst them are the following:
Automatically collapsing Spanish curtain which separates the washstand from the bed room, thus forestalling false pruderie and promoting a sense of togetherness.
Table lamp which goes out at the gentle tap of a knuckle. No fussing with old-fashioned switches.
Airconditioned blanket. Three strategically placed holes at the foot end of the blanket will permit a person in horizontal position to emit unwanted gases freely.
The walls are bare and undecorated so as to prevent overstimulation of the mind and falling asleep.
The seat cushion of the chairs follows the curvature of the right buttock by the missing of some strands of springs making it easy to work on your core.
There are two adjoining coffee shops and one server who shuttles back and forth between the two and thus provides a very versatile service. The kitchen odors are so pungent and all-pervasive that you can tell the available dishes without looking at the menu.
The Chariot Inn was originally built as a log cabin by the pioneer, Stephen S. Austin, and there have been few changes since. The many roaches and crickets you encounter are descendants of the original vermin that crawled into the woodwork. They are historical animals. Do not kill them but treat them as pets.
When you approach The Chariot Inn on Interstate 35 and you can’t stop, then wave, or better yet, wave good bye.
Sincerely,
R.Undown, Manager
S.Hitty, Housekeeper
My Dad’s letter & your homework
➜ My Dad’s letter shows his keen eye and sense of humor. I love this Best Humor Example Ever… it’s special to me since he passed away the very next year.
➜ Look for the humor and share the funny stuff. You’ll diffuse tension. They’ll laugh. And so will you.
➜ So, rather than rant on social media about bad experiences – flex your humor muscle and write your own letter to R.Undown the Manager and S.Hitty the Housekeeper.
My handsome husband, Jim, and I wish you a happy new year and a fulfilling year ahead! 🥂 🎉
Time to reveal our ’23 Communication Best-Of List – guaranteed to boost your communication skills even more in ’24.
#1 🎤 Communication Habit: Find the humor.
Even during drama-filled times and situations – funny stuff happens. Keep notes on this “you cannot believe what just happened” truths. Use this material in your conversations/presentations.
#2 🎤 Communication Habit: Ask questions.
You will be forced to listen more and you’ll learn more than if you’re doing all the talking.
#3 🎤 Communication Habit: Read more.
Fiction or non-fiction – you’ll gain insights and become even more articulate. Even a trashy novel can provide examples of how to use dialog, plot development, and what makes for a good story.
#4 🎤 Communication Habit: Reflect on your positive communication experiences in ’23.
You do a great job of remembering in exquisite detail when you think you’ve failed at running that meeting, or facilitating the board discussion, or giving a speech to your shareholders. Think back on when you rocked on your platforms. Not only will this make you feel great – but it has a positive rollover effect on your future gigs.
#5 🎤 Communication Habit: Write more.
Practice writing short and clear emails, articles, reports and posts.
Confession: I began writing this blog series … kicking and screaming. Now I realize it’s been one of my best communication habits. Writing makes you a better communicator. I am forced to observe with purpose… all the time… constantly mining for good info and stories.
#5 ½ 🎤 Communication Habit: Empower by praising others.
It’s a complicated world, made just a little bit easier if you can find something positive to say to the next person in line at the grocery store or to anyone in your personal and professional arenas. You’ll make their day. So give someone a specific and sincere compliment today.
YOU are the reason this blog exists. Thank you for your support and comments directly on this blog or in my email box. See you in 2024.
Whether you’re a football fan, or you never watch sports; whether you love or hate the Dallas Cowboys, whether you like or you can’t stand Jerry Jones – read on to gain three must-have Communication Superpower Moves.
3️⃣ Keep Your Eye on the Ball (not to be punny)
3️⃣ Keep Your Eye on the Ball (not to be punny)
Here are 9.5 ways to avoid audience boredom ➜
4 Places to find and use humor
