Even in this age of AI everything that’s supposed to simplify, aggregate and answer all your queries, you still have to present your presentations.
Your goal is to appear comfortable, confident and clear while embracing your fears of public speaking.
Today I offer a science-backed surprise element that can help you get your stomach butterflies to fly in formation.
🎵 The Solution
Sing. If you already sing, sing more.
Why? There are direct ties between singing and stress reduction.
Plus, it’s fun.
🎵 The Science
Studies note that singing lowers cardiovascular stress, increases Heart Rate Variability (HRV), and acts like a physical “brake pedal” for your fight-or-flight response which lowers your baseline cortisol levels,
Singing creates a resonance between your heart rate and your respiratory system.
Jillian Mitchell, a vocal coach, writes that singing strengthens your voice, builds breath support, sharpens your articulation, expands your vocal range, improves pitch control and builds stamina.
Mitchell hums, “If speaking is walking, singing is running, and running makes you a stronger walker.”
🎵 The Anecdotal Science
My walking buddy, Judy, measures her stress levels using her Apple watch. She noticed that on the days she spends with her grandkids her stress levels are lower. What makes those days calmer? She’s singing with them all the time. Judy figured out the correlation between more singing = less stress. Then she did some research for my blog. Thank you Judy! Keep singing with your precious grandchildren.
🎵 Your Strategy
Feeling nervous? Do the following (and you don’t have to be good!):
Sing in the shower on the day of your presentation. You can be off pitch!
Create a playlist and sing along.
Sing with your buddies, kids, grandchildren, parents or pets.
Join a choir. Singing in a group triggers even more of the good stuff, endorphins and dopamine.
🎵 The Big Crescendo Payoff
Singing can build your vocal confidence. It gives your brain and your mood a great workout. And best of all, singing to music you love makes you feel good.
My fabulous trainer, Shay, took this pic. I promise I did the (almost) 2-min plank first thing this morning. 💪🏼
My dear friend, Marvin Blum, J.D., C.P.A., shared in his weekly newsletter that he rolls out of bed every day and does a 2-min plank … for 20 years!
Who knew? (And I’ve known him since college!)
My competitive spirit got engaged, and I said, “I can do this. It’s a great way to work on my core and muscle strength.”
The next morning I rolled out of bed, got in the plank position, and started counting.
Spoiler Alert: I did not make it to 120.
What’s the correlation between the habit of doing a daily 2-min plank and communicating with power and presence?
I work with leaders on how to get heard above the noise.
💪🏼 The Plank Habit ➡
Shows perseverance, uses good breath work, enhances your posture, adds to your strength, and builds energy.
🎤 Great Speaker Habits ➡
Perseverance – Great speakers were bad speakers at first.
Breath Work – Great speakers manage nerves by doing some breath work ahead of show time. Ex: breathing in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and release using 4 seconds.
Posture – Great speakers exude executive presence by having good posture.
Strength – Great speakers subliminally model a strong mental and physical authority.
Energy – Great speakers are energetic, verbally and nonverbally.
Well, how are my daily 2-min planks going?
Still not easy and two minutes feels like 2 years, but I’m getting better!
It’s a new year. What health habits do you do?(Hint: whatever you’re doing helps you in other areas of your life, like the way you communicate.)
Picture this scenario: You’re in a high-stakes board meeting, the tension increases as your team discusses a major project. Suddenly, Sarah, your usually reserved colleague, speaks up.
With a measured tone, she shares her insights, easing the anxiety in the room. Everyone leans in. How does she do it?
Our calm and fabulous guide when we finally arrived at the Sahara Desert in Morocco
Here are five subtle habits of calm speakers.
🎤 Purposeful Protocol: Is there one perfect protocol to being a calm speaker? No! The trick is to define what your protocol is to create a predictable and successful speaking situation. Some of my client protocols include: 1) drinking no alcohol at the steak dinner and getting a good night of sleep prior to that critical panel or meeting, 2) arriving at the venue early (a must in my book!), 3) preparing.
Could be great inner dialogue
🎤 Inner Dialogue: The calmest speakers have a positive inner dialogue. I’ve counseled many to say, “I’m excited” vs “I’m nervous”. Same energy with a vast reframe.
🎤 Keen Observer: Calm speakers possess the ability to read the room. By observing body language and facial expressions, they tailor their messages to resonate.
🎤 Abundance Mindset: Calm speakers approach discussions with an abundance mindset. They believe there’s enough space for everyone’s ideas and contributions. This openness fosters collaboration, making the environment feel supportive rather than competitive. Sharing the stage doesn’t diminish your value!
🎤 Authenticity: Finally, the calmest speakers are themselves—quirks and all! They embrace vulnerability and share personal stories that resonate. Authenticity is magnetic; it draws people in and fosters connection.
By cultivating these habits, you’ll not only calm your nerves but also inspire those around you. So, the next time you find yourself speaking in front of an audience, channel your inner Sarah—calm, confident, and clear.
Happy speaking!
Photos: I took these photos in the Sahara Desert, Morocco and Barcelona, Spain
I thought, “I have a lot to cover in this 90-minute class.”
But I was done in 5 minutes!
There I stood, with 28 college students looking at me. I knew I had nothing else to say. Unfortunately they also knew I had nothing else to say. I instantly sported a sheen of sweat.
Had I not signed a contract to teach that class I might not be the Founder of Speak For Yourself® today! I was forced to show up at Richland College every Tuesday and Thursday for 16 weeks. That was 32 class sessions in case you didn’t do the math.
It was a powerful lesson about perseverance and practice.
And now…
I warn all of my fabulous clients that speaker anxiety is part of the game of speaking. You won’t get rid of it. In fact, you want that adrenaline edge. You learn how to dance with that demon and use that extra energy in a positive vs. negative way.
Some of those demon-dance steps include practice, perseverance, time, rinse and repeat.
I taught at Richland College for 10 years. The first class of each semester lasted the full 90 minutes… to their chagrin!
One of my coping mechanisms then and now … I wear cotton. You want to be in control of your potential physical side effects of speaker anxiety.
Hoeppner says, “The more you try to suppress feelings of anxiety or awkwardness, the louder those feelings get.”
What actually builds confidence
From CEOs to senior leaders to small business owners, all across the board, you’ve come to me asking, “How do I feel more confident?”
My answer mirrors Hoeppner’s comments. It’s not about feeling more confident. You cannot wait around for this gravitas feeling to arrive. “Confidence is a behavior. You don’t need to feel confident to sound confident.”
Practice behavioral change
One tool to build communication confidence physically, NOT emotionally, is The Lego Drill.
Confident communicators embrace the power of the pause. Rather than adding in all those “ums”, the speaker pauses for a few beats. The confident communicator understands that silence, at the right moment, increases listener attention. And when you pause, you exude confidence.
You do not need to create this Lego masterpiece, but I had to share Riley’s (my grand-nephew) fabulous Lego creation!
But, you don’t do a good job of pausing! Hoeppner’s Lego Drill will build your tolerance for silence. Here’s how.
Grab a few Lego blocks and place them on your desk.
Pick one up, and while holding it, speak one complete thought.
Finish that thought and place the block down in silence.
Click this Lego block with another Lego block… in silence!
Pick up the next block and share your next thought.
This tactile ritual forces you to pause, breathe and slow down. Hoeppner accurately opines, “It trains you to get comfortable with the kind of deliberate silence that powerful speakers know how to wield.”
Next steps ➜
🧩 First: Replace your thought bubble of pink polka-dotted pigs with some real Lego blocks on your desk.
🧩 Second: Use this outer physical tool rather than your inner mental self-talk tools.
🧩 Third: You don’t have to feel confident. You do have to show confidence.
❌ No, glossophobes are not a translucent grasshopper breed.
✅ Yes, glossophobes are those that have an extreme fear of public speaking.
► If you identify as a glossophobe, you are not alone! According to The Economist article, The Secrets of Public Speaking, “This staple office activity causes very many people to feel deeply anxious.” Thank you to Dr. E. Michael Reisman for sending me this insightful article with homespun advice and actor’s tips for glossophobes.
Homespun advice
🙄 Just be yourself. This ignores the fact that the Real You would rather be dead vs giving a speech.
🤯 Picture your audience is in their underwear. Don’t do this! Although this questionable concept became popular in a well-known book 30 years ago, it does not work!
🙃 Speak on topics you understand. This makes sense “except getting ahead in many jobs requires the opposite.”
Actors’ advice
🎭 #1 Understand that presenting is a “deeply physical activity.”
Don’t stand with your legs locked. A slight bend in the knees creates greater stability.
Open your jaw more widely than you might ordinarily do when pronouncing vowel sounds.
Do warm-up exercises for your face. Think Edvard Munch’s The Scream! Move your face around and make it look like a prune.
🎭 #2 Slow down the pace of your delivery.
Allow for pauses.
Avoid “ums” and “ughs” by trying this (kind of whacky) exercise: As you talk, do a technique called “finger-walking”. Michael Chad Hoeppner, an actor turned coach suggests you use your index and middle fingers to “walk” across the table and only take a “step” when you know what the next word is going to be. I just tried it and it works! It forces you to take time choosing your words and the verbal clutter disappears.
🎭 #3 Don’t focus on yourself. “Turn selfie-view off”!
You spend way too much time being self-analytical. “Do I look ok?” “Did that sound weird?” “Is my neck blotchy?”
Put your energy on your audience rather than you.
Concentrate on what you want your audience to feel, think or do as a result of your presentation.
Bottom line
To all glossophobes➜ Take the advice from a profession that really knows how to pretend and perform: acting.
Speaker anxiety is alive and well.
