You get stuck over how to advise a peer that’s received negative work feedback.

You perseverate over how to help a client diagnosed with cancer.

You hesitate to offer support to a struggling friend.

According to a NYT article by Jancee Dunn the best way to handle these scenarios is to ask this question:

“Do you want to be helped, heard or hugged?”

Dunn’s inspiration originates from her sister, a special-education school teacher at an elementary school. Dunn’s sister observes, ““Some need a box of tissues, or they want to talk about a problem on the bus, and I’ll just listen.”

You might think that this question works best with school-aged children. But Dunn says, “It struck me that this question could be just as effective for adults.”

I agree.

How often do you vent to a trusted colleague, friend or family member and all you want is to be heard, or maybe even hugged? In fact the last thing you want is advice!

The next time you are in the position to listen to your friend, family member or colleague think about these 3 “H” options: Helped. Heard. Hugged.

➜ By asking them this one question: “Do you want to be helped, heard or hugged?” you will then know how to navigate the conversation.

My best bet: you’ll be a great listener without providing any solutions unless solicited.

#communication   #SpeakForYourself   #KarenCortellReisman   #BestListeningTip